Application In. Only CCRN to Go.

Turned in my CRNA school application today. It feels good to have that completed, but is also a bit terrifying. I can't help but hope that everything was spelled correctly in my essay and resume and that everything is up to their standards. I suppose none of that matters now since it is out of my hands and into the inbox of the decision-makers, but that doesn't stop my mind from worrying. Now all I have left to do is pass my CCRN certification before I can safely breathe a sigh of relief and say that I have done absolutely everything possible to try to get into the University of Cincinnati CRNA program. Phew! Trying not to get overwhelmed on the home stretch, but this summer is flying by.

Aside from my application, nothing else has changed in my life. Been a bit homesick for my Michigan home lately and have also caught a cold that is draining my energy. Regardless, I need to keep plugging along and checking things off of my "to do" list. I've been trying to pack up my place, bit by bit, in preparation for my August move and am beginning to realize that, even through I threw out a lot of things before moving here 2 years ago, I still own a bunch of crap. It's amazing how many things one person can accumulate. I see many trips to Goodwill in my future..

In other news, yesterday I received the best compliment from a patient's family member in the form of a thank you card. "You made him feel like a person again." It was nice to hear that amongst all the stress and chaos that has been my summer, I have at least done one thing right. Makes me smile.

Anyways, after that choppy, random post, I am off to trivia night to try and have a bit of fun before diving back into studying again tomorrow morning. I think I can.. I think I can.. I think I can..

'Nuff said..

You Know You're Getting Old When..

After many failed attempts, I have officially come to the conclusion that I absolutely detest going to the bars for the sake of going out to the bars. There is nothing about this American past time that even remotely does anything for me. Going out with a group of friends, that's different, that is usually a blast. But going out with one or two other ladies to troll the streets for un-dateable alcoholics... not for me. Now, I can have a good time wherever I am placed, but there are times, like last night, where the effort to have a decent time isn't even worth the energy.

As Raleigh and I sat at a table outside of Kilroy's, we assessed the situation that surrounded us: hooker heels and LBDs to our right.. Ed Hardy tees and boat shoes to our left. Raleigh nervously played with the umbrella at our table, "Are we too old for this?" We sat in silence, both fully aware that it was going to be another early night.  I continued to observe the crowd, and their human mating rituals, while seriously pondering why we were even here. Back in the college days, drinking and attempting to seduce the boys of the bar used to be considered a great evening, but now, I am not even sure why I continue to use gas to put myself in these situations. I suppose we were both hoping to run into a group of people that we knew or even make friends with a few new folks, but to be honest, the bar crowd are not typically the type of people I have any desire to approach, let alone converse with. Eventually we ended up seeing some friends and had a better time, however, I think this may be my last bar outing for a while.

Every night I go out it is always the same.. you stay up late, have a drink or two, look around and realize that everyone in the bar is retarded, have another drink in hopes that your situation will start looking less grim, decide to go to another bar, realize that everyone at this bar is equally as retarded, and then head home around midnight telling yourself that "no one good" was out and next time will be better. I guess I am not sure what I even expect to get out of these late night outings since I don't really drink, am not looking to date anyone, and I don't like being surrounded by drunk people who get into your personal space as they stumble by. Although going out occupies some free time, I think I will pass on the bars and instead opt for bowling alleys, the climbing gym, and Starbucks. Although these establishments may be a mecca for underage children, at least they will allow me to have fun, get to bed at a decent hour, and not feel guilty or hungover the next morning. Wow, I really am getting old.

We couldn't fit all of the boat shoes into one picture.. but you get the idea.. 

We met this gem out last week... he promptly told us he was successful (although he couldn't come up with an answer as to what he did for a living), told us to google him, and then showed us pictures of his mom and dad.. and him with 2 out of the 4 world's largest balls of twine.. and him with the world's largest bottle of ketchup.. He definitely deserves an A for the most creative pick up strategy, ever. Props to you, Glen Bradford... I hope someday it works for you.

5 Year Life Plan

So tomorrow is Big Test Day #1 and while yesterday I was full of anxiety and freaking the f' out, today I feel a greater sense of calm. After months of relentless and fastidious math and vocabulary preparation (you see what I did just there? aw yeah, integrating GRE words into my everyday life..) it will all come down to tomorrow. (Yikes.) As stressful as it seems, when you break it down, everything is going to be ok. Best case scenario: I meet the CRNA benchmark score, breathe a sigh of relief on the drive home, then grab drinks with a few friends in celebration. Worst case scenario: I panic and cry throughout the whole exam, don't meet the required benchmarks, and I sign up to take it again. I am really, REALLY hoping for the former scenario, but we shall see. I think I will bring a box of tissues with me just in case.

In other news, I had another AMAZING trip to Michigan. Words cannot express how in love I am with my family and hometown. I have always said that there is no way in hell I would move back to Michigan, but after these past couple weeks, I think I may consider moving back to the mitten in the near future. Although I am proud of all I have been able to accomplish while riding s-o-l-o these past 7 years in Indiana, I think it may be time for me to head back to my roots where I will be surrounded by those who mean the most to me. Perhaps I shall move back to Michigan after my future graduation from CRNA school. Which brings me to my next topic: Dani's new and improved 5 Year Life Plan. (All life plans subject to change with or without the consent of Dani. Must be 18 to enter. Many will enter. Few will win. Void where prohibited.)



Dani's 5 Year Life Plan(s)


Option 1 (the preferred option):


2013- get into CRNA school and move to Cincinnati in July/August-ish.

2014-2015- rock out some intubations/sedation/spinals in school.

2016- find a job somewhere in the US, work, save up some money, and TRAVEL.

2017-2018- work as much as I need to and plan numerous trips around the world.


Option 2 (not as optimal as Option 1, but still not too shabby..)


2013- do not make the cut for school and take organic chemistry so I can apply to more CRNA schools.. then perhaps do some travel nursing to earn money for school

2014- (hopefully) get into a CRNA school somewhere and move there..

2015-2016- rock out some intubations/sedation/spinals in school..

2017- find a job somewhere in the US, work, save up some money, and TRAVEL.

2018- work as much as I need to and plan numerous trips around the world.




As you can see, the main goal of my 5 Year Plan is to travel. I have been on a few spontaneous vacations this year and with every new adventure my desire to see more, do more, explore more, etc.. becomes greater. I believe this is what they call "being bit by the travel bug". Right now life is a little hectic and my travel plans need to be put on hold. But once I am in a better-paying career my future adventures should be a bit easier to achieve, which is very exciting. Until then, I am going to continue to work my booty off to get into school so 5 years down the road I can relax and see the world. Exciting stuff to look forward to!

Future Adventure! Try not to be jealous of my mad photoshopping skills..... 

The view from my parents' deck.. I almost cried when I had to leave.. No where else I would rather be in the summer. Period.  

You Are Awesome. (a tribute..)

(I've been feeling rather philosophical lately.. so I dedicate this little boost to anyone out there who has been going through a rough time)

You are awesome. I know things haven't been going your way lately, but despite all of the "suck", you have managed to persevere and keep going. Not everyone can do what you do and you deserve a pat on the back for all of the hard work that you put into each and every day. Way to go. Way to be an f'ing rock star. You may not get recognized for all that you do, but know that your hard work does NOT go unnoticed. Whether you realize it or not, your positive actions have inspired others and that is pretty darn awesome.

So what if you didn't get that raise, a marriage proposal, or a date with that hottie at Starbucks. It's ok. You're exactly where you need to be right now, so there is absolutely no reason to worry.  Whether you are going through a break-up, mourning the loss of a loved one, or suffering through any other rough event, know that you are stronger than you think you are and you WILL get through this. Believe it or not, you will even find joy again. You are not alone in your struggle. No one leaves this world unscathed and each and every one of us has been through, or is currently going through, our own personal Hell. It is in these struggles that we learn and in these struggles that we realize we are so much stronger than we ever thought we could be. We make mistakes. We are not perfect. None of us were given a "how to" guide, so we're all just kind of winging it. You are one ridiculously strong individual. It's incredible.

Our world today is so focused on criticism that we often forget to express gratitude. You are great at what you do and so many people appreciate you. Don't allow others to bring you down with their words. They are only doing this in an attempt to fill a void in themselves. Do not take what they say personally and do not allow their struggle to bring you down. Like you, these hurtful people are only doing the best that they can. We all are. Appreciate those around you and be grateful for each and every breath that you take. There is a reason you are here. There is a reason you are who you are. And, as tough as it can be to accept, there is a reason for your struggles, pain, and suffering. Try not to get bogged down by everything that appears to be against you and have faith that you are always being guided to where you are supposed to go. Express your gratitude for those around you. Your kind words have the power to completely change someone's day. How cool is it that your single smile or compliment can change someone's crappy day into a much better day? Yeah, you're that amazing.

As far as your struggle goes, you are going to be ok and you will get through this. Why? Because you're freakin' awesome. That's why. In the words of Stuart Smalley, "you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you." So go on wit' yo' bad self and show that big bad world what you've got inside you. Spread your awesomeness to those around you and help out your peers when you can. You already have all of the tools you need to change your view of the world around you. Hold your head up high, smile at those who cut you off during rush hour, and rest assured that where you are at this moment is exactly where you need to be. You're doing a great job. Keep being awesome, you sexy fox, you.

Truth: I am obsessed with awesome quotes pasted upon neat backgrounds.. My apartment and pinterest page are covered with inspirational words... So, yeah.. now you know a lesser known face about moi..
So enjoy these quotes.. or not.. makes no difference to me. 

Some whining about the GRE.. and other insignificant updates..

Welp, it's 6:20pm and out of all of the useless things I have accomplished today, studying still has yet to make that list. Studying for the GRE blows. I do not see how any part of this will prove to a school that I would be a kick ass anything, let alone a quality CRNA. I have so many attributes that would better prove that I am a mildly decent human being and not one of them involves finding the possible values for x if x^2-5x+6=0. I just want July 11th to get here so I can sit at a computer for 5 hours and be done with this nonsense. Instead of the GRE, they should test applicants responses to stressful situations, attracting douche bags, and ability to jump from a high place into a deep river. I would like to think that I could easily ace all three categories with grace, poise, and humor. As an added bonus, test results would be much more entertaining than those given from the GRE. But who am I to make the rules. At least when I study for the CCRN (Critical Care Registered Nurse certification - the other test I need to take before applying), I can use the medical knowledge I gain from studying in my everyday work practice. I can almost guarantee that, aside from the GRE and a possible trivia night, I will never need to know the definition of internecine. Regardless, it is what it is so I should probably just quit bitching, study hard, and get over it.

In other news, nothing of great significance in my life has changed. I have found a new apartment and will be moving out sometime around July or August, so that's neat. Honestly, I am really bummed out about it. I am in love with my current place of residence, but Carmel is a lonely place full of young, married couples and a single 5'1" lady truly doesn't need a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom place for just herself. My new place is nice, but very small. I am unsure if my oversized couch will even fit, but I love this lounging couch and will make it work even if the end of it invades the kitchen. Since the majority of my good friends live in the area I am moving to, I think this move will be a positive step for where I am in my life. Maybe I am a little bitter, but being surrounded by happy, married people and their offspring has been bringing my down lately. I am excited to move to a place where I will be in close proximity to other single 20- to 30-somethings who enjoy a good night of drinking, dancing and loud music. Sometimes you need to move backwards in life before you can truly move forward. Adios young families who make me feel like crap and hello to miserable drunk people who will most likely make me feel better about myself! Yay!

I would like to add as a disclaimer that although the paragraph above makes me sound like a bitter single bitch, I really love everything about my life. Married people do not have half of the adventures that my friends and I do and therefore lack great stories of awkward flirting, walks of shame, and general disarray. Plus, I enjoy that fact that I never have to report to anyone about my whereabouts, nor do I have to face their judgement when I do something stupid. Single people, somewhere out there is an equally weird person who will be able to put up with us and all of the chaos that comes with it. Until then, we need to keep each other company, forward march, and laugh at all of the awkwardness that comes with "dating". If I ever get married, I hope I never become a boring person. Becoming part of a boring couple terrifies me more than being eternally single. But that's enough on that..

Anyways, aside from the items mentioned above there isn't much more to update. I just got back from an amazing Michigan vacation with one of my good friends and will be heading back up to Michigan for "summer vacation: take 2" in the near future. It was nice to get away from everything that stresses me out and I am already ready for my second trip to the mitten. I am madly in love with my hometown and cannot wait to jump back into its chilly waters soon. Until then, I guess I will have to settle for getting intimate with my GRE books... Try not to be jealous.

Pretty much what happens as soon as I open those stupid GRE books...

This is for all my single people out there.. Makes me giggle. 

Maybe You Should Leave the Pregnant Suit at Home.

This morning, while cleaning out the contents of my car from the previous evening, two things became very clear: first, I shouldn't have left my dirty buffalo chicken dip pan in my car overnight and second, I am the most retarded person, ever.

Every now and then I come up with some grand idea that inevitably turns out to be an awful idea in the sober light of day. As I collected the pieces of the pregnant suit that I had worn just hours prior, it dawned on me that I actually wore this out in public. Now, this is not the first time I have sabotaged my lady-like public image and I'm sure it will not be the last, but regardless, it never gets less embarrassing.

Back in college, my girlfriend and I came up with this brilliant plan to dress up as Sonny and Cher for Halloween. As you are fully aware, Halloween is the national holiday where you can dress like a hussy and not be judged for it. Women prepare weeks to months in advance by hitting up the gym to get their abs and ass perfect for their naughty nurse, naughty schoolgirl, and naughty bunny costumes. My girlfriend and I are not "those girls", so we opt for the more humorous costume option. She is taller than I am so naturally she dressed up as Cher. Meanwhile, I was excited to get to adorn a thick black mustache and embrace my masculine side as Sonny. We decide that this is the best costume idea in the world. We have never been more wrong.

Out in public the liquid courage brought on by our pre-gaming slowly begins to fade as we wander through the sea of scantily clad and fabulous-looking women. These ladies are looking their best and we are beginning to question our costume choice. We get to the party and it becomes obvious: we are not going to get any ass tonight. The dudes in the room suspiciously eye us over their red solo cups and continue to chat with the cleavage that has their attention. My girlfriend looks like a drag queen and I am wearing a mustache. This costume plan was not very well thought out.

As if I didn't learn my lesson back then, I decided to make a repeat performance of "world's most unflattering and unseductive outfits" this past weekend when I decided to bust out a pregnant belly to a themed party. Now, in my defense, the theme was "white trash", so I figured the belly would make for the perfect outfit. I gather up a small pillow and a bejeweled jean jacket from Goodwill and decide to create a masterpiece of a costume. I mold the pillow into the perfect belly with duct tape and rip the sleeves off of the bejeweled jean jacket. One of my best friends and wingwoman, Raleigh, helped me strap on a large padded bra over my existing bra to finish the homemade preggo belly suit. I add a wifebeater and thick blue eyeshadow to complete the look and am about ready to start braiding my hair into cornrows when Raleigh (who is wearing jean shorts and a normal t-shirt) informs me that I have already gone far enough. "You're right. I should probably maintain some piece of normalcy." I pull my buffalo chicken dip out of the oven, hobble my newly girthy body to the car, and we are off.

Even arriving 45 minutes after the party start time, we are still the first guests there. This is embarrassing. We rock it out, pour ourselves a drink and enjoy the warm weather and far-too-neatly-landscaped-for-a-man's-party yard. As others slowly begin to trickle in, I have a flashback to Halloween and realize that I, once again, have completely taken the costume theme too far. Clearly, I did not get the memo that it was a "sexy white trash party". Feeling inadequate, I begin to drink more. All of the entering ladies display large, elevated breasts under cute tanks, cute jean shorts and skirts, and trucker hats. Dani, you are an idiot. Determined to swallow my pride and embrace the belly, my friend and I chat it up with the ladies and get social, as we typically do at such functions. I am not sure if it was the weather, my slight feeling of unsexiness, or the fact that I had only eaten half a cheeseburger that day, but I soon realize that I am drunk. Very drunk. It is at this time of realization that Raleigh, equally drunk, rushes across the yard with a sense of urgency. Upset by an issue unrelated to the party,  she grabs my arm and states, "We're leaving. Now." I do not hesitate, as I have embarrassed myself enough for one event, and we venture off to Broad Ripple, belly and all, to meet up with friends.

The events that took place after this are unimportant, but the night ends with me walking a mile in the dark from the bars and back to the scene of the party where my car is still parked. At this point I have drank nothing but water for the past few hours and am sober enough to, both, drive and realize that I once again have most likely made an ass of myself by wearing a costume that should have just stayed in the closet. Note to self: men do not find lady mustaches or pregnant bellies attractive. One of these days I will learn.. either that, or I will find someone who has no shame in rocking out an equally embarrassing costume. Either way, my pride and I should probably avoid themed parties for a while.

While driving home and feeling dumb, I replay the evening's events to my sister on the phone. "Lindsey, I f'ing wore a pregnant belly." After her laugher ceased she informs me, "Sissy, you are the most retarded person that I know. I love you." At the very least, the stories resulting from my shame, awkwardness, and poor decisions are typically mildly entertaining to the general public. Although it made for a funny story, next time I think I will leave the pregnant belly at home.

My grandma has taught me well how to edit photos.. She covers the faces of all of our ex's with question mark stickers so she can still keep the photos on the fridge even when things go sour.. Classy photo editing is in my genes.. (this was edited for privacy reasons only..)

Such a lady..... Ugh. I promise I am not 18 and posing with booze for kicks.. 

And it now becomes clear why no men were going to ask for our numbers that fateful Halloween night... (circa 2007) 

My friend made this for me since everyone kept thinking I was dressed as Borat.. 

Bucket List

Everybody has a bucket list... Here are the items that are currently on mine. I am hoping to accomplish a few of these within the next few years.. Although most of these adventures require a bit of money to complete.. sigh..


1. Noodling (catfishing with your bare hands... yes.)

2. Scuba diving certification and scuba on the Great Barrier Reef

3. Skydiving

4. Kiteboarding

5. Go to Australia

6. Go to India

7. Learn sign language

8. Zipline through the jungle

9. Write a book

10. Go cliff diving (jump from a cliff into deep water)

11. Rock climb outdoors

12. Throw a dart at a map.. and spend a few days wherever it lands...

13. Be a contestant on The Price is Right


14. See a whale

How does this not look like the most fun ever?!