Who Says I Can't Have My Cake and Eat It, Too?

After a long couple of months of indecisions and revisions, I am finally feeling as though things are falling into place. I started off 2012 with high hopes and have felt as though I have received nothing but a cluster of confusion and chaos in return. Everything that I used to love about Indy is no longer here and I have been struggling for months to keep myself afloat with contentment. I have tried to convince myself that things will get better, but I am now beginning to realize that I am done "trying to make things work" in Indy and it is time to move on and explore new places and people. At this moment, I am seriously considering either, breaking my newly signed lease, or just using that apartment for really expensive storage while I go travel. I shall explain..

So, I showed up for Pediatric Advanced Life Support (PALS) class today, expecting to know no one, and came out with a whole new perspective on my future. First off, I know nothing about saving the lives of small people and was only taking PALS because it is a requirement for CRNA school. Secondly, I have hinted at this a bit in other posts, but I am just going to come out and say it, I am, and have been, completely miserable in Indy for quite a while now. I hate it here and I am sick of "sucking it up" and "trying to make the best of things." I have been here for 7 years and although I have had some absolutely amazing times, it is time to move on. So there you have it. Anyways, I am sitting in PALS and run into the Flotrac sales rep RN who has been frequenting our unit over the past few months. Her and I have always gotten along and we quickly began chatting about our lives, the ICU that I work on, etc.. when she mentioned that she used to do travel nursing. Immediately, I asked her how she liked it and which company she went through. She had nothing but positive things to say about the experience and had even traveled through the company with which I applied when I first considered being a traveler. "Why wouldn't you just leave and travel now?" She inquired. "Well, I just signed a lease.." "Could you break your lease? The good thing about travel nursing is if you decide you want to leave in 2 weeks, they can find you a job." And then my mind began to wonder...

I am supposed to move in on the 20th, which I am beginning to think may not be a great idea. If I travel, I really don't know if I want to be paying such a large amount of rent for an "upgraded" apartment that will only be used to store my things. Technically, I do not have to be out of my current apartment until August 31st, which if I were to put in my 2 weeks notice next week, would allow me to stay here long enough to take my CCRN exam and promptly move my stuff back to my Michigan home before departing on a travel adventure. If I break my lease, I think I only lose out on about $200 or so, which is much less than I would lose out on by using it for storage. I haven't made any solid decisions yet, but travel nursing would be a GREAT way to save money to pay for my future CRNA degree. The more I think about it, the happier I become. I am seriously shaking, I am so excited!! I love spontaneous life-changing decisions! My decision to become a nurse happened in much the same way: changed my mind one day, changed my major, and never looked back.. I will keep you posted, but I am fairly certain I know what I need to do..