You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown

I was hoping this next post was going to be a "Hurray! I got into CRNA school!" post. But alas, it is not. Cue the sad Charlie Brown music now.. 

I thought I had a decent interview at MSU, but apparently strike 2 proves otherwise. I will admit I was a bit discouraged and disappointed for a few days, but I think that cloud has passed over me now. My past disappointments always seem to prove to me that there is something better for me out there. So I will embrace my loss and await the next big adventure. 

I am not giving up on CRNA school. However, now that my required statistics class is over 5 years old, I will need to retake that before I can apply to any more schools. (whomp, whomp..) That being said, I will be on a short hiatus from "Operation: CRNA School" until further notice. So that's where I stand with that. 

On a happier note, it is FINALLY warm outside!! Sunny and 88 degrees. I will take it. Cannot wait to get out on the water and enjoy a TC summer for the first time in a long time. Very stoked. 

Despite the little wrench of rejection in my "life plan", I am wildly in love with my life right now. I am dating the most amazing man on the planet and my life is full of amazing and supportive friends and family. I am a truly blessed person. To think over a year ago I was panicked about the thought of being eternally single. (See Quarter-Life Crisis) Silly Dani, quit worrying about the future so much and try to enjoy being 26, free, and totally clueless as to where your life is going. What is for you will not pass you by. 

Insignificant Updates

For the first time since starting this blog, I have failed to produce at least one post a month. Sorry, April, it's nothing personal. Although, your constant surprise snow showers certainly did not make me any more fond of you..

Things have been going well and we are finally beginning to have days of nice 70 degree weather here in Northern Michigan. Small victories. My job is a job, but the people I work with are great, so that is a nice bonus. And things with Paul continue to constantly exceed my expectations. He is just absolutely amazing. I could write for hours about how ridiculously awesome he is, but I'll save you the time and you can just take my word for it. It's funny to me how one simple decision to go to a bar with my sister could result in bringing me this much happiness. Life is funny like that.

Don't really have much else to update. Paul and I have been doing quite a bit of home repair on his place and are planning to schedule our skydiving trip for some time this summer. I have another exciting piece of information, but I will share that with you at a later date.. I don't want to jinx anything.

Facebook "No-Nos"

I love people. I find them very amusing. The funny thing about people is that we loooooove to talk about ourselves. We just do. For some reason it's part of who we are and nothing makes us more excited than talking to others about ourselves. With the advent of social networking sites, we are now able to talk about ourselves 24/7, even when no one is listening. With the update of a status, the tweet of a twitter, or the post of a picture, we can tell everyone what we are doing, at the very moment we are doing it, without ever saying one audible word. 

Now, I respect everyones right to free speech, but there are some people out there who completely abuse this privilege. Perhaps they do not realize how they come across or perhaps they do not care. Regardless, these following Facebookers need to be called out on their ways and probably need an intervention. So, without further ado, here is my current list of "Facebook No-Nos". 

The Kim Kardashian Relationship Status-er

This Facebooker's relationships seem to hold about as much merit as a K.Kard. wedding vow. They are constantly  in and out of "Facebook official" relationships within days to weeks, so you are never really sure what is going on with their dating life. These Facebookers are often times high schoolers or college kids, but are not completely limited to those age groups. To avoid mistakenly becoming one of these offenders, I have provided you with a little rhyme: "when your relationship status is in doubt, it is best to wait it out". 

The TMI-er

This Facebooker has no personal boundaries and no hesitation when it comes to posting anything and everything about themselves. They are quick to post statuses about their sinus drainage, tell you about the great poop they just had, and post pictures of their ever-worsening foot fungus. I find that new mothers and their lochia also tend to fall into this category. By all accounts, this offender is a Facebooker free spirit and the "honey badger" of the bunch. They don't care if you care about their foot fungus or not. They are going to post it anyways. It is best not to follow this offender too closely if you have a weak stomach or if you are not comfortable reading about the bodily functions of your coworker/crush/acquaintance in great detail. Sometimes less is more.

The Informant (AKA- Instastatuser) 

Perhaps they suffer from delusions of grandeur or perhaps they just have tourettes-like compulsions to post. This Facebooker is constantly updating their status to reflect exactly what they are doing every hour of every day. Their facebook page often looks something like this:

9:43am - So tired. At Starbucks grabbing coffee!

10:05am - OMG. I HHHHAATTEEE TRAFFIC!

11:34am - Boring day at the office... 

11:48am - Stubbed my toe earlier.. It still hurts sooo baddd

12:02pm - Someone ordered pizza!! Yay!!!

1:59pm - Who wants to grab drinks with me later?

They status themselves to the point that even if you did want to grab drinks with them later, you are too annoyed to even respond to their post. These are the Facebookers who "cry wolf" as they cloud your newsfeed with useless updates until you don't even care to read the ones that might be interesting or funny. 

(Sidenote: to avoid the embarrassment of having unflattering pictures of you posted, it is best to avoid drunken nights out with this friend and their instant-photo-posting iphone ways..)

The Catfish

Much like the MTV series, these Facebookers are not exactly who their profile makes them out to be. Since I do not accept friend requests from anyone I do not know, I do not have too much experience with this type of Facebooker. However, I do have one high school-aged relative who falls into this category. In an attempt to not be themselves, The Catfish make their profiles out to be someone else. In the case of my relative, the photos are accurate, but the information is definitely false. Dear 15-year-old relative, I know you and I am related to you. I am fully aware that you are not a 28-year-old college graduate. And no, you absolutely did NOT need to use that age to "get a Facebook account". You are awesome the way you are. Enjoy being you and enjoy being young. You will be a 28-year-old college graduate soon enough and it will suck. Plus, you do not want to be attracting the wrong kind of male attention at your age. It's not worth it. Trust me. Please consider changing your profile to reflect your actual age. XOXO, your relative who knows what you're up to...

The Diary Writer  

Diary writing about the daily ins and outs of your life can be very therapeutic and cathartic. Having been a dedicated journal-writer since 1997, I am a huge proponent of this hobby. However, there is definitely a time and a place for this activity to take place. Writing your deepest desires and daily dramas for all to publicly read is probably not in ones best interest, especially when employers, family and exes have free reign to read all of your ramblings. I am so sorry that your baby-daddy is back in jail for breaking probation and that your teenage son will no longer talk to you and you don't know why. That is really unfortunate and I am truly sorry. But I hardly know you and we only sat next to each other in college choir, so I probably should not know such detailed things about your life. There are such things called "boundaries" and "proper outlets". Although everyone does have different boundaries as to what they feel is appropriate to post on the book, posting about your serious family issues probably is not the best outlet for your concerns. Perhaps you should get a handle on life's hardships by confiding in friends or a counselor more and Facebook less... Just a thought..

The Debby Downer

I can tolerate many Facebook annoyances, but I truly struggle with this type of Facebooker. Very similar to The Diary Writer, The Debby Downer also posts far too much about their daily life. However, The DD does so in a way that requires its own "world's smallest violin" solo in the background of all of their statuses. Literally every single status they post is about how miserable they are and how their life is so much worse than everyone elses. I find most of these post-ers to be single women who seem to think that their life will miraculously turn to sunshine and rainbows with the addition of a boyfriend. Their posts often go something like this: 

11:00pm - crying myself to sleep AGAIN tonight.. will i ever find love?

5:02pm - drinking makes me feel less lonely. still wish i had a man to drink with me.. 

12:02am - i miss my ex.. i mean, my friends are ok... but i miss HIM!! 

6:54pm - my friends are telling me to get help.. you don't know what i am going through! screw all of you! 

This post-er is clearly sending out cries for help and attention, but they go about it in all of the wrong ways. It sucks to be sad and lonely, but, once again, Facebook probably is not the place to voice all of your woes. When all you ever post are sad posts, it makes your sad posts seem less sad and more blah. (Much like crying wolf.) Plus, any potential man who may have wanted to date you is probably going to get red flags when they read all of your daily woe is me posts. On a side note, getting a boyfriend will not give your life a complete 180 into happyland. You need to find happiness within yourself before you can share that happiness with another in a relationship. Perhaps you can take all of the energy you spend sobbing on Facebook and turn it into a productive hobby like yoga or underwater basket-weaving. That way you can get away from the computer, give your life purpose, and put yourself out in public to help increase your chances of meeting "Mr. Right". 

The "I Bet You Think this Post is about You"

Often the post-er of quotes or song lyrics, this Facebooker's statuses tend to be a bit passive aggressive in nature. They have issues with someone and instead of confronting that person like an adult, they decide to display their emotions in the form of a creative (or sometimes not so creative) Facebook post. Examples of this offenders statuses are often much like these posts:

The Song Lyric Version:  "but it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear...." 

The Quote Version: "She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad.. and that's important"

The Uncreative Version: Seriously?! Some people just need to grow up!! UGGHHH!

You're angry and now everyone knows it.. except for the person who you're aiming your status towards.. because they probably A) don't care or B) cannot decipher the meaning of your abstract angry post and how it relates to them. 

The Excessive Meme Poster

I do not understand where memes started, what their purpose is exactly, or how to even pronounce the word "meme". Memes can be entertaining and there is nothing wrong with posting them, unless you post 800 a day. As with most things, excess is not always a good thing. When all you ever post are memes, I am left to believe that you are uncreative on your own and rely solely on the wit of others. That being said, please keep the memes to a minimum. 

Well now that I have more than likely offended most of my Facebook friends, I figure this is a good stopping place for this post. This has been a public service announcement. Please Facebook responsibly. 

and if you could quit posting pics like this, too.. that'd be great... mmk thanks..

Playing Catch Up

Since it has been so long since I have posted, allow me to fill you in on what you have missed. Here is the Cliffnotes version:

- Paul (TC guy) flew in to save me from Montana and we had an awesome road trip back to the mitten (with a detour in Wisconsin for his business trip [mmm... cheese curds..]).. Bubby (my fish) also attended the road trip and survived.

- I got a job at the only local hospital where I just started to work in their ICU about 2 weeks ago

- Found out on Day 1 in the ICU that this hospital does not have body bags... so you have to wrap patients up in sheets like a burrito before sending them to the morgue.. weird.

-  I feel like a child of divorce.. most of my things are at my parents' house.. but I also spend a lot of time at Paul's... I never seem to have what I need when I need it.. and I don't really have my own "safe space"..  This continues to be an area of frustration... I miss having all of my things conveniently available and displayed.. *Le Sigh*

- Paul and I become DIY-ers and take on the task of re-doing his kitchen.. so far, so good...

- Don't worry, they said... You won't notice a difference between 4WD and 2WD, they said.... B-freakin-S. I have gotten my car stuck a hand full of times and haven't been able to get up some hills... Northern Michigan winters are cruel..

- Been pole dancing again.. Definitely should not have taken 3 months off.. but it feels good to get back into it...

- I turned 26.. and for my birthday Paul is taking me skydiving this summer. Best. Gift. Ever.

- I am STILL trying to get up the energy to fill out my CRNA application for MSU that is due on March 15th. Get it together, Dani.. You can do this...

- I still hate the winter and I still think that February is the worst month, ever.


So there you have it... My life as of late has been nothing short of chaotically boring. I am trying to find my place here in the mitten and am impatiently awaiting summertime.

Kitchen Before

Kitchen After (still need to change countertops and paint walls)

Not my most flattering pole pic.. but the only pole pic that I have.. 

They actually make this. 'Nuff said. 

New Year. Fresh New Post.

Ah, the first post of the new year. 2013. A fresh start. A tabula rasa. I have a good feeling about this year. Typically, I do not have good luck with celebrating New Year's Eve, but this year was different. I celebrated this year with 3 fabulous new friends and had an amazing time. We ate steak, played drinking games, and partook in karaoke. A fabulous night by all accounts. A brief glimpse into my NYEs past will show why having a decent NYE is such a big deal to me.

NYE 2012: Sat at a bar with one of my besties... drank far too much champagne.. and the boy I had started seeing a few weeks prior did not want to drive 20 minutes to come spend the holiday with me. It bummed me out, but that was enough for me to end that potential relationship. If you truly like someone, 20 minutes is not that far. Period. (Later on that year, during the final game of the NCAA tournament, he confessed to me how much he didn't like me, how he was still in love with this other woman, and that this woman was the reason he did not spend NYE with me. Yeah.. he really knows how to sweep a woman off her feet......)

NYE 2011: Recently broke off a serious relationship a few weeks prior and went to the bar with a friend to try and have a good time. "Um, Dani... don't look now, but Ex (name withheld) is sitting in the corner of the bar..... with a girl." Fabulous. That was the first night that I got a glimpse of the face of the woman Ex had been screwing while dating me. Ouch.

NYE 2010: Fought with my family and with my boyfriend at the time (AKA- Ex). Car broke down a few days later and I was left without transportation for a while. Crappy.

NYE 2009: My shit-head of an ER boyfriend got wasted and passed out with his TV blaring loudly. I could not figure out how to turn off his TV for the life of me and could not even begin to fall asleep. Then his EMT beeper kept going off and would not stop. I shook him and kicked him, but he did not budge. Finally, after minutes of harassment, he awoke to say, "Shut the fuck up, Jackie. Stop being a bitch." That was the end of that relationship.

NYE 2008: I moved to Indianapolis from Bloomington and had no friends. Spent NYE with my cat.

So, as you can see, I have not always had the best of times bringing in the new year. I do not want any pity, as I actually find these stories quite hilarious. I have a history of dating losers and my NYE history just serves to prove that fact. Although I did not get to spend this NYE with the man I have come to greatly adore, I am beyond excited to get to share the rest of 2013 with him. Only 17 days, 19 hours, 50 minutes, and 2 seconds until his plane lands in Billings. (But who's counting....)

Also, I may have found a potential date for my friend Josh (from previous post). Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match.....

Resolution for 2013: Eat healthier. Complain less. Love life more.

Online Women are Terrifying

So, I created a new blog in an attempt to find my friend Josh a woman (Date My Friend Josh if you are curious) after eharmony.com failed to match him up with anyone. Josh is one of my best friends and he deserves an amazing lady, but I am beginning to see why he is still single. While bored and browsing plentyoffish.com for potential Josh matches, I have come to the conclusion that women are absolutely terrifying. There are so many intense female personalities out there. I do not know how anyone can successfully find someone special in the chaos of cyberspace. Don't get me wrong, one of my best friends found her now fiance online, so I am aware that it is possible. However, I can see why decent men might be turned off by online dating.

As a woman, I did a few 48-hour stints on online dating websites and I always found it completely overwhelming and quit. So many creepy dudes sending inappropriate messages into my inbox and so few quality men. I guess I never realized how things looked from the man's prospective. That is until, well, I made a profile for a man to try to find him a woman. (Trust me, I realize how creepy that makes me sound...) I mean, some of these online women are freaking insane. So much cleavage... So much desperation.. So much bitterness. Come on ladies, we're better than that! (Ok.. do not read my past blogs... especially the one about my QLC.. since it just goes to show that I am not even better than that!)

I guess I am not even sure what the best way is to meet a decent person anymore. I mean, I met TC guy by chance, randomly at a bar. Before then, I had been to plenty of bars in search of a quality guy and always came up empty-handed. I have so many single, amazing friends out there who are all just waiting to find their person. I wish there were a better answer to offer them other than "just be patient", but unfortunately I think that that truly is the best way to find someone. I like to think that every pot has a lid.. but I suppose it just takes some people a bit longer to find a lid that's a perfect fit. And even when you do find a lid that fits, who knows how long it will stay a solid fit. And now, I am getting sentimental about pots and lids, which is typically a good indication that I should go to bed. Good luck single people out there... and ladies, if you're in the Indianapolis area, you should give my friend Josh a try! He's quite a catch!

Apparently, they could not find anyone awesome enough for Josh... Lame. 

My Life in Montana and Good Riddance to 2012

Well, it's December. Life is still rolling along and I am still sitting in Montana, isolated from socialization, and counting down the days until my contract is up. (41.) I have enjoyed this new experience, but I can safely say that I never want to live in Montana again. I am sure it is a lovely place for most, but I am a warm-weather girl and also a lover of larger cities. But hey, I can now say I have experienced living out west and can check "go to a rodeo" off of my "to do" list. So there's that. My job is ok and the people are nice, but this place really makes me miss my old hospital. I miss the high acuity, the largeness of it, and being well-known and trusted. It sucks to come into a new place and automatically be judged and treated like you're a novice because you look like you're 12. Don't get me wrong, I am still a newer nurse and do have a lot to learn, but I miss being the person people went to for help and I miss knowing where to go for things and how things are done. But that's travel nursing, I suppose.

Aside from that, my life out here is very similar to that of an 80-year-old widowed woman. I go to bed early, only leave my place for groceries, eat at Cracker Barrel alone, and spend my down time sewing everything from stockings to place mats as gifts for other people. There are not many people my age around here and everything "to do" is about a 2-3 hour drive away. I am an adventurous person, but I also have no desire to drive 3 hours to go skiing alone. (Or to go skiing at all, really. Not a snow person.) So here I sit in complete solitude, with only my fish, Bubby, for company. This has become my life lately.

I still cannot believe that it has been almost a year since I started this blog. 2012 sucked. I am so sorry you had to suffer through my ramblings about this year. I am hoping 2013 will be much better in all aspects of my life. I have no shame in saying that, for the majority of 2012, I was probably on the brink of psychosis. I oogled over men who wanted nothing to do with me, treated those who did poorly, got myself into awful situations, and even became the center of nasty rumors started by a middle-aged hussy who had nothing better to do with her time. I spent my whole summer studying for a program that I did not get into (currently planning to apply to more places), did not get a raise because I left my computer open (dumb.), and throughout it all, still worked my ass off for very little pay-off. (Insert the world's smallest violin here.) But I suppose that is all behind me now. I have had nearly 2 months of pure isolation to wind down, ponder my life choices, and re-evaluate my plans for myself. My conclusion? I have no plan. I have no idea what I am doing or what I should be doing. I am basically flying by the seat of my pants and not having a solid plan makes me extremely uncomfortable. That being said, I am trying to use this as an opportunity to let go and let the universe take me where I am supposed to go. This is very hard for me, but I am willing to give it a shot. When it comes down to it, I really have nothing to lose. If I decide that moving home is not the right choice for me, then I either continue travel nursing or move to Florida. That's it. No need to get all anxious over a decision that is not permanent.

Although 2012 wasn't exactly what I had expected, I did accomplish one thing: I got quite a bit of traveling in. I went to Florida, Scotland, Arizona, and Montana this year. AND I got into the Maxim party for free at the Superbowl. Not too shabby. Many people cannot say that they succeeded in their New Year's Resolution, but I did. And I am very proud of that. I still have the itch to travel, and am hoping to continue my travel streak in 2013. (I may even have a special travel companion with whom to share my adventures if things continue to go well with TC guy.) Lastly, I believe my QLC (see Quarter-Life Crisis ) is finally coming to an end and that in itself is a beautiful thing. Even amidst all of the chaos, I think I will be starting out 2013 on a better foot. I may not have it all together yet, but at least I am in a better place to handle anything that may come my way. Bring it on 2013. You have very big shoes to fill if you have any intention of even comparing to 2012 in the battle of "Dani's worst year ever".