New Year. Fresh New Post.

Ah, the first post of the new year. 2013. A fresh start. A tabula rasa. I have a good feeling about this year. Typically, I do not have good luck with celebrating New Year's Eve, but this year was different. I celebrated this year with 3 fabulous new friends and had an amazing time. We ate steak, played drinking games, and partook in karaoke. A fabulous night by all accounts. A brief glimpse into my NYEs past will show why having a decent NYE is such a big deal to me.

NYE 2012: Sat at a bar with one of my besties... drank far too much champagne.. and the boy I had started seeing a few weeks prior did not want to drive 20 minutes to come spend the holiday with me. It bummed me out, but that was enough for me to end that potential relationship. If you truly like someone, 20 minutes is not that far. Period. (Later on that year, during the final game of the NCAA tournament, he confessed to me how much he didn't like me, how he was still in love with this other woman, and that this woman was the reason he did not spend NYE with me. Yeah.. he really knows how to sweep a woman off her feet......)

NYE 2011: Recently broke off a serious relationship a few weeks prior and went to the bar with a friend to try and have a good time. "Um, Dani... don't look now, but Ex (name withheld) is sitting in the corner of the bar..... with a girl." Fabulous. That was the first night that I got a glimpse of the face of the woman Ex had been screwing while dating me. Ouch.

NYE 2010: Fought with my family and with my boyfriend at the time (AKA- Ex). Car broke down a few days later and I was left without transportation for a while. Crappy.

NYE 2009: My shit-head of an ER boyfriend got wasted and passed out with his TV blaring loudly. I could not figure out how to turn off his TV for the life of me and could not even begin to fall asleep. Then his EMT beeper kept going off and would not stop. I shook him and kicked him, but he did not budge. Finally, after minutes of harassment, he awoke to say, "Shut the fuck up, Jackie. Stop being a bitch." That was the end of that relationship.

NYE 2008: I moved to Indianapolis from Bloomington and had no friends. Spent NYE with my cat.

So, as you can see, I have not always had the best of times bringing in the new year. I do not want any pity, as I actually find these stories quite hilarious. I have a history of dating losers and my NYE history just serves to prove that fact. Although I did not get to spend this NYE with the man I have come to greatly adore, I am beyond excited to get to share the rest of 2013 with him. Only 17 days, 19 hours, 50 minutes, and 2 seconds until his plane lands in Billings. (But who's counting....)

Also, I may have found a potential date for my friend Josh (from previous post). Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match.....

Resolution for 2013: Eat healthier. Complain less. Love life more.

Online Women are Terrifying

So, I created a new blog in an attempt to find my friend Josh a woman (Date My Friend Josh if you are curious) after eharmony.com failed to match him up with anyone. Josh is one of my best friends and he deserves an amazing lady, but I am beginning to see why he is still single. While bored and browsing plentyoffish.com for potential Josh matches, I have come to the conclusion that women are absolutely terrifying. There are so many intense female personalities out there. I do not know how anyone can successfully find someone special in the chaos of cyberspace. Don't get me wrong, one of my best friends found her now fiance online, so I am aware that it is possible. However, I can see why decent men might be turned off by online dating.

As a woman, I did a few 48-hour stints on online dating websites and I always found it completely overwhelming and quit. So many creepy dudes sending inappropriate messages into my inbox and so few quality men. I guess I never realized how things looked from the man's prospective. That is until, well, I made a profile for a man to try to find him a woman. (Trust me, I realize how creepy that makes me sound...) I mean, some of these online women are freaking insane. So much cleavage... So much desperation.. So much bitterness. Come on ladies, we're better than that! (Ok.. do not read my past blogs... especially the one about my QLC.. since it just goes to show that I am not even better than that!)

I guess I am not even sure what the best way is to meet a decent person anymore. I mean, I met TC guy by chance, randomly at a bar. Before then, I had been to plenty of bars in search of a quality guy and always came up empty-handed. I have so many single, amazing friends out there who are all just waiting to find their person. I wish there were a better answer to offer them other than "just be patient", but unfortunately I think that that truly is the best way to find someone. I like to think that every pot has a lid.. but I suppose it just takes some people a bit longer to find a lid that's a perfect fit. And even when you do find a lid that fits, who knows how long it will stay a solid fit. And now, I am getting sentimental about pots and lids, which is typically a good indication that I should go to bed. Good luck single people out there... and ladies, if you're in the Indianapolis area, you should give my friend Josh a try! He's quite a catch!

Apparently, they could not find anyone awesome enough for Josh... Lame. 

My Life in Montana and Good Riddance to 2012

Well, it's December. Life is still rolling along and I am still sitting in Montana, isolated from socialization, and counting down the days until my contract is up. (41.) I have enjoyed this new experience, but I can safely say that I never want to live in Montana again. I am sure it is a lovely place for most, but I am a warm-weather girl and also a lover of larger cities. But hey, I can now say I have experienced living out west and can check "go to a rodeo" off of my "to do" list. So there's that. My job is ok and the people are nice, but this place really makes me miss my old hospital. I miss the high acuity, the largeness of it, and being well-known and trusted. It sucks to come into a new place and automatically be judged and treated like you're a novice because you look like you're 12. Don't get me wrong, I am still a newer nurse and do have a lot to learn, but I miss being the person people went to for help and I miss knowing where to go for things and how things are done. But that's travel nursing, I suppose.

Aside from that, my life out here is very similar to that of an 80-year-old widowed woman. I go to bed early, only leave my place for groceries, eat at Cracker Barrel alone, and spend my down time sewing everything from stockings to place mats as gifts for other people. There are not many people my age around here and everything "to do" is about a 2-3 hour drive away. I am an adventurous person, but I also have no desire to drive 3 hours to go skiing alone. (Or to go skiing at all, really. Not a snow person.) So here I sit in complete solitude, with only my fish, Bubby, for company. This has become my life lately.

I still cannot believe that it has been almost a year since I started this blog. 2012 sucked. I am so sorry you had to suffer through my ramblings about this year. I am hoping 2013 will be much better in all aspects of my life. I have no shame in saying that, for the majority of 2012, I was probably on the brink of psychosis. I oogled over men who wanted nothing to do with me, treated those who did poorly, got myself into awful situations, and even became the center of nasty rumors started by a middle-aged hussy who had nothing better to do with her time. I spent my whole summer studying for a program that I did not get into (currently planning to apply to more places), did not get a raise because I left my computer open (dumb.), and throughout it all, still worked my ass off for very little pay-off. (Insert the world's smallest violin here.) But I suppose that is all behind me now. I have had nearly 2 months of pure isolation to wind down, ponder my life choices, and re-evaluate my plans for myself. My conclusion? I have no plan. I have no idea what I am doing or what I should be doing. I am basically flying by the seat of my pants and not having a solid plan makes me extremely uncomfortable. That being said, I am trying to use this as an opportunity to let go and let the universe take me where I am supposed to go. This is very hard for me, but I am willing to give it a shot. When it comes down to it, I really have nothing to lose. If I decide that moving home is not the right choice for me, then I either continue travel nursing or move to Florida. That's it. No need to get all anxious over a decision that is not permanent.

Although 2012 wasn't exactly what I had expected, I did accomplish one thing: I got quite a bit of traveling in. I went to Florida, Scotland, Arizona, and Montana this year. AND I got into the Maxim party for free at the Superbowl. Not too shabby. Many people cannot say that they succeeded in their New Year's Resolution, but I did. And I am very proud of that. I still have the itch to travel, and am hoping to continue my travel streak in 2013. (I may even have a special travel companion with whom to share my adventures if things continue to go well with TC guy.) Lastly, I believe my QLC (see Quarter-Life Crisis ) is finally coming to an end and that in itself is a beautiful thing. Even amidst all of the chaos, I think I will be starting out 2013 on a better foot. I may not have it all together yet, but at least I am in a better place to handle anything that may come my way. Bring it on 2013. You have very big shoes to fill if you have any intention of even comparing to 2012 in the battle of "Dani's worst year ever".

Save the Slow Loris

I am a very emotional person when it comes to wildlife and especially so when it comes to animal cruelty and illegal pet trading. While eating a snack of green beans, I turned on Animal Planet to find the saddest little loris eyes staring back at me. I only caught the tail end of the episode on slow lorises, but watching that was enough to have me almost in tears.

I often take for granted how good we have in the United States and how, although not always properly run, for the most part our government does a great job of enforcing what is right and wrong. This is not the case in many countries and unfortunately animals greatly suffer due to the lack of governmental responsibility in these countries. The slow loris is an endangered species on the IUCN red list, however, illegal pet trading in Indonesia continues to diminish their presence every day. "Although both Indonesian and international law prohibit the trade of slow lorises, still they are sold openly in markets or roadside stalls all over Indonesia. According to WCU (Wildlife Crime Unit), the slow loris is one of the most traded primate species, second only to the long-tailed macaque." (See link below for citing)

It saddens me to know that there are people out there abusing and selling these endangered creatures and there is not much anyone can do about it. The Indonesian government does not enforce the laws that are supposed to protect these animals nor do they punish those who illegally sell them. I think the worst part is how those who perform illegal pet trading treat their animals. The slow loris contains a toxin in its armpit that it swishes around its mouth and uses to poison its prey. Due to the danger of this venom, pet traders brutally cut out the lorises teeth using nail clippers or pliers before stuffing them into cramped cages to sell to ignorant tourists who want a "cute exotic pet."

Due to their slow, gentle nature, the slow loris appeals to people as a great family pet. YouTube videos of captive lorises further encourage the illegal traders to sell slow lorises because people watch the videos and think "How cute! How do I get one?" What these people fail to realize is that purchasing these creatures, even with the intent to "save them", only causes more slow lorises to be captured and fewer to live out their lives in the wild. It's a sad loop that unfortunately does not provide the slow loris with much safety or hope for survival.

Its upsetting that there is not much I can do to help preserve the slow loris, except to educate through this blog and donate to those who help save and rehabilitate slow lorises. The slow loris will not be safe until the government of these countries decides to take action to protect them and/or people decide to stop purchasing them completely. Until that happens there is not much hope for our fuzzy, beady-eyed friends. Unfortunately this is not the only animal threatened by extinction due to the inhumanity and greed of mankind. I just with there was more that I could do to help.




ABC NEWS -  Slow Loris: Endangered for Being Cute

Link to the site features on Animal Planet (and the inspiration for this blog): 

http://www.nocturama.org/ 


Another educational site:

http://www.internationalanimalrescue.org/projects/25/Saving+the+slow+loris.html


From where my quote was taken:

http://www.internationalanimalrescue.org/uploaded/The%20Slow%20Loris%20in%20Indonesia%20The%20Rise%20in%20Illegal%20Wildlife%20Trade.pdf

Slow Loris getting it's teeth brutally cut out so it can no longer defend itself. 

Slow lorises being openly sold at a weekly market in Bogor. 

Please spread awareness and knowledge about the slow loris in Indonesia to increase law enforcement, decrease illegal pet sales, and help keep the slow loris from extinction.

In the trees where he belongs. 

15 Random Facts (Part 2)

1. I am constantly wavering between loving everyone or hating everyone.

2. I am terrified of birds and automatic car washes.

3. Pudding skin grosses me out.

4. I love all desserts and could eat key lime pie every day if I needed to.

5. I am addicted to iced tea and prefer to drink it out of large styrofoam cups. (sorry environment..)

6. I hate celebrating my birthday, but love making others feel special on theirs.

7. I cannot stand the element of surprise, which is why insects and things that fly make me jumpy. (jumping spiders are the worst... you never know from which angle they may spring at you..)

8. The passenger door on my car is a slightly different color than the rest of my car. I never noticed this until months after my car door was replaced and repaired..

9. I can still fit into the clothes that I wore in junior high, which causes me to wonder how I ended up with stretch marks on certain parts of my body...

10. In college I made extra money on the side by participating in psychology experiments. One of my most profitable experiments involved me lying in an MRI, playing a "game", and intermittently receiving electric shocks to the tips of my ring and pinky fingers. I probably made around $500 doing this once or twice a week for about an hour each time. I have no idea what they were testing, but at the end I received a CD full of MRI pictures of my brain. Pretty neat.

11. I parallel parked for the first time ever on the same night that I met my current boyfriend.

12. When I was in high school, I was interviewed for an article in People Magazine under the alias Savannah (or some S-name, anyway). My doctor at the time suggested me to the magazine interviewer, so I agreed to share my story and thoughts. No one except my family knows about that.

13. I know all of the lyrics to almost every Blink-182 song. (don't judge me..)

14. I had bright pink hair for almost my entire 9th grade year of school. To this day, it is still my favorite hair color I have ever worn.

15.  I cannot sleep without a fan.

Everyone has an awkward stage.. I will be the first to admit mine was longer than most.. 

Nothing I Expected, But Everything I Need

So much has happened since my last post. It's ridiculous. Literally, the day after that post, I landed a job in Billings, Montana. Ok... not exactly the tropical paradise I had been hoping for, but it's better than nothing! Yesterday it was 80 degrees in my hometown and 25 and snowing here in Billings. Brrr. So much for that swimsuit binge I went on before leaving Indy.. Won't be needing those here! After a week of orientation, my first day on the unit will be tomorrow. Hoping for the best and determined to enjoy my 3-month stint here.

As far as my CRNA adventure goes, I had my interview and did not get into their program. Whomp.. Whomp. I have mixed feelings about this. Of course, I am a bit disappointed since I worked very hard to get in, however, I also realize that this has now opened me up to other opportunities. For instance, once I take organic chemistry (hopefully this spring or summer), I will then be able to apply to Michigan CRNA schools. Michigan school equals in-state tuition and being close to my family and (wait for it...) TC guy. So although not getting in was not exactly the result I was hoping for, I am not devastated by it either.

TC guy is pretty darn amazing and we are determined to make things work through these next 3 months. I cannot even begin to express how ridiculously smitten I am and I am fairly certain he feels the same. That being said, after this assignment I plan to move back to my hometown, get a job there, and see where things go with Mister Mister. Yes, Miss Picky has finally found someone who she cannot get enough of. Weiiiiirrrddd. He makes me ridiculously happy and I cannot wait to be back in the mitten and see him again. (Feel free to vomit... I know this paragraph was a bit gooshy.)

So there you have it. No CRNA school for 2013. Working in Montana for the next 3 months. Head over heels for someone 1400 miles away. That pretty much sums it up.

Also, I would like to apologize for all of my boring and blah posts from the past few months. After re-reading them I realized that they are not the most positive posts. Typically, I am not that negative of a person, but hey, everyone is allowed to have a few rough patches, right? Forgive me few avid readers that I have... I promise to provide many more exciting posts in the future. I already have a few themed posts in the works about dating and opposite-sex friendships.. so stay tuned!

Chilly Billings... Steep Cliff.. Pretty View..

My Life Lately (More or Less)

Ok... so this whole travel nursing thing has not exactly turned out as I thought it would. I definitely saw things going a lot differently in my head... First off, I am still unemployed and living in my parents house. Fabulous. Seeing as I have a significant amount of experience in a large teaching hospital on a highly acute ICU, I thought landing a travel assignment would not be a problem. Wrong. The travel nurse companies make it seem like finding a job will be a snap, but the reality is that this is not the case.

Most hospitals who accept travelers will only interview applicants that have previous travel nurse experience and who are currently licensed to work in that state. I have neither of these qualities. That being said, not every state is that easy to get licensed in. For instance, if I were to get licensed in Michigan, it would take 2 months before my license would get approved. That's a long freakin' time. So, in an attempt to make myself more marketable, I applied for my Florida license about 3 weeks ago in hopes that I could start applying for Florida positions. $250 and 2 sets of fingerprints later, I am still waiting. (This license also takes about 6-8 weeks..) My plan was to get an assignment somewhere else (anywhere else) and after my first assignment was complete, would then take a travel assignment in Florida. Well, the first assignment still has yet to come.

Per the advice of my second nurse recruiter (the first nursing company I worked with hasn't really been working out, so I applied with another company), I applied for my Texas license. There have been a ton of job opportunities posted in Texas and it is a relatively quick state to get licensed in, so I figured applying for my license there couldn't hurt. That license cost $215 and I am now waiting for my fingerprint sheets to come in the mail so I can once again get fingerprinted for another license. So, right now, not only am I almost $500 poorer, but I am also STILL without a job. Super Ugh. I have had a few phone interviews, but most hospitals said that I did not have enough experience, even as a charge nurse in a highly acute ICU. To say that this process has been frustrating and discouraging is an understatement. I NEVER thought that I would still be unemployed right now. Yet, here I sit. Blah... At least I am learning to be patient, right?

In other news, a week ago I found out that I got invited to interview for CRNA school in Cincinnati. YAY!! This is the LAST step of what was a long summer of dedication and studying. My interview will be on October 15th and I will have my fingers and toes crossed that I get accepted into the program. I want this so badly!

Also, as my luck would have it, I have met the most incredible person here in Traverse City and it is making my decision to do travel nursing seem much less appealing... He is very fun and awesome and I am a bit smitten. Needless to say, my life has the worst timing, ever. Whether anything comes of TC guy or not, at the very least, I now know that decent, respectful, and confident men still exist out there. That in itself is refreshing enough. And I got to ride on a motorcycle for the first time ever. Huzzah!

So there you have it. That has been my life for the past month. It has been nothing like I had planned, but has been everything that I needed. I am not really sure what my next step is going to be since my whole travel nurse plan isn't really panning out, but I am open to whatever opportunity may come my way. Bring it on world.. At this point I've got nothing to lose!

By the way, Scotland was AWESOME. This was taken before we climbed  ben y vrackie mountain in Pitlochry.

2,759ft above sea level and a 22 mile hike. Great climb!

Rosslyn Chapel 

Taken inside the Paisley Abbey

The High Church of Paisley

We saw lots of rainbows during this hike

Another picture inside the Paisley Abbey