Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Travel Success!! (A Brief History of the "Vacation Curse")

Much to my surprise my vacation to Sanibel Island came and went without any major mishaps. Although paranoid the whole flight and car ride home, I made it to and from my destination safely. Why is this shocking? Those who know me best know EXACTLY what I am talking about. No one is more unlucky in their travels than I am.

Last year, on my way to Florida, my plane could not land due to a tropical storm. After three failed and very turbulent landing attempts, the plane was forced to land at a small, distant airport to wait out the storm. Good news: they let us out of the plane. Bad news: there were no speakers in the airport with which to warn you that your plane is/was boarding. Long story short, I left all my belongings in the plane seat and decided, "Hey, I've never drank in an airport before.. I think I will go enjoy a beer while I wait." This was not a wise decision. While caught up in conversation with two old men (who ended up buying my drink) my plane left without me.. with my luggage and carry-on on board. In a panic, as my extreme phobia is being lost and/or stranded, I did what any person would do had they just come face-to-face with the worst day of their life: I hyperventilated in a massive panic attack. Looking back, this seems like a hilarious over-exaggeration of emotion, but at that moment I saw no hope for survival. I was doomed and stranded with no means of rescue. Hence, the extreme panic. Clearly, a woman who is in hysterics with a respiratory rate of 60 breaths a minute does not go unnoticed. So, along came the EMTs... Yup. Yours truly had to be assessed by EMTs. I tried to fight them off, but they took my vitals and tried to get me to lie on their stretcher. It was about at this moment that I began to feel really dumb. REALLY DUMB. I hate panic attacks. Anyway, I signed the paperwork declining a trip to the ER and tried to figure out how to get to my destination and luggage, which were now three hours away from me... 
(Icing on the Cake: a tipsy, younger girl who was traveling with her fiance had added me as a facebook friend while sitting next to me at the bar. She wrote on my facebook wall, "I didn't see you on the plane. Enjoy your vacation!" Yeah..... about it...)

This summer, while going home to Michigan for the 4th of July, I had just left my apartment when I was the victim of a four car pile-up. A semi two cars in front of me slammed on their brakes, the car in front of me did the same, I followed suit and bumped the car in front of me (they had no damage), and the suburban behind me was slow to react and smashed right into my rear. This was a sad day. This, the 30th of June, 2011, was the day my faithful Santa Fe was totaled before we could reach our goal of 200 thousand miles. I was stranded on the side of Meridian, luggage by my side, as they towed her bent car carcass away.. never to be driven again..  RIP dear Fe.. Now, the downside to living so far from your family is that when things like this happen, you need to rely on friends. I HATE asking friends for help, but sometimes you have no choice. Luckily for me, my awesome friend Don was available and agreed to pick me up. While working out the details with Don, the two police officers at the site of the crash began to harass me. "Ohhh.. are you talking to your boyfriend?" "Is that your special man friend that is coming to pick you up?" Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Officers of the law, I was just in a car wreck on my way to my vacation destination. Are you seriously taunting me like 6th grade boys? Determined not to let this mishap ruin my trip, I rented a car to take me the rest of the way home. "Since you bought full coverage, you can return this car in a cardboard box if you want to," the rental car man informs me, "but please don't do that." At this point, I have already totaled my car, so I feel as though I am invincible since my "vacation curse" has already exposed itself. Already having my "curse" out of the way, I breathe a sigh of relief while I drive the rented Impala to my destination. This was a premature sigh. While pulling into my parents driveway, which is thickly lined by trees, I heard a loud "thud". Much to my horror and dismay, a tree branch had completely annihilated the right side-mirror of my rental car. The mirror was ripped completely off. Fabulous. Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?!

Vegas: food poisoning. 

Flight from Michigan: luggage lost and not returned until 3am when I had to meet the idiot luggage delivery man at Meijer because he could not find my place. 

And unfortunately, the list goes on... 

Needless to say, I am EXTREMELY grateful and proud that I made it all the way to Sanibel Island and back in one piece with my luggage and vehicle intact. Yay! 

We found a bunch of leopard crabs on the beach.. I <3 Sanibel Island.

Poor Fe... Victim of the "vacation curse".  RIP 2002-2011. 


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