Warning: Deep Thoughts.

My brain never seems to shut off and is constantly trying to figure out people, situations, and life in general. One observation that never seems to fail me, is that people do not change. They just don't. True, I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, but this is not change, this is growth. There is a difference. Change is when you start out as one thing and become another, whereas, growth is the evolution or discovery of what has always been there all along. I do not believe people change, but I DO believe that everyone shows their true colors over time. (Whether good or bad, you can't hide yourself forever!)

People are constantly providing clues about themselves, but oftentimes we overlook these clues because we want to see this person in a better light. We want to view this person as we would LIKE them to be and fail to see them for what they actually ARE. Since each of us come from different backgrounds, life experiences, traumas, etc.. our view of the world around us is unconsciously filtered through this biased mess of experience. I may view a certain person very differently than one of my friends. This is because our life experiences are vastly different and therefore how could we possibly view one thing the exact same way? Since no one views anything the same, no one person is adored by all or hated by all and this is a beautiful thing. (Can you imagine if everyone had the same "type" when dating? Those who did not fit that "type" would be screwed..) We are drawn to those with similar world views and personality traits and we enjoy our friends because of this similarity. I am a sarcastic person by nature so am drawn to those who are also fluent in sarcasm. People who do not understand sarcasm tend not to like me. There is nothing wrong with either, we're just different and probably will not understand each other very well. There is no right and wrong, just different.

I believe one of the key components to true contentment is viewing things exactly as they are, without judgement, bias, or emotions. This concept is ridiculously hard to put into practice because it is hard to separate true facts without those three components creeping in. The best way I can explain this is to dissect a relationship from my past (sorry, ex.. I'm throwing you out there..), as it was only after we broke up that I realized he had never "changed" at all, he had always been the same, I had just been viewing him the wrong way and had failed to see him for what he had been all along.

For a long time, after my last relationship, I was hurt and confused over what had happened and where things went wrong. I thought I had met the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with and various family members, including my mother, had told me "Dani, he's 'the one.'" I was on cloud nine with Ex (we'll just call him Ex.. no need to drop names) and often found myself thinking "I don't know how it gets any better than this". Ex made me a ridiculously happy person and I could not see myself being with anyone else. After a fun-filled year of dating, we began to talk about "getting serious". The first time he mentioned getting married, I was so happy and excited I thought I was going to explode. I could not wait to become Mrs. Ex. During year two of our relationship things started to change. I don't know if it was him or me, but things just weren't as easy as they had been before. We began to fight a lot and things he would say just weren't adding up. Regardless of the tension, we still moved in together. A month later, after various events that I will not dive into, I said "enough is enough" and kicked him to the curb. He moved his things out while I was at work and took many things that did not even belong to him. (yes, I am still a little bitter.. who takes someones iced tea maker and the first CHRISTMAS PRESENT they gave to their girlfriend?! Seriously? I want my wii fit back.. it was a GIFTTTT!!!) Two weeks after our break up, I ran into him and his new* vagina at a bar during New Years Eve. Happy New Year to me! And that pretty much sums that up..
(*let's be honest, she wasn't new.. she was the vagina he was using while he was still dating me.. awesome.)

Ok, I am not placing blame in our relationship, but there were definitely some red flags and personality traits that I overlooked because my silly "I really like you" emotions got in the way. I had always told myself I would never date a guy who was a smoker or had a history of cheating, but having a crush on someone will make you do stupid things. Looking back, he possessed very few qualities that I would actually like in a partner, so it is no surprise to me that things ended the way they did.

He was a smoker and when we first met I told him I would never date someone that smokes. That day, he told me he would quit and I told him "bullshit". However, he stopped smoking around me, so I assumed he was true to his word and had quit. (HA! Silly, naive Dani..) One day, after about a year of dating, we were lying in bed and I said, "I never told you how much it meant to me that you actually quit smoking. Thank you." He looked at me and replied, "I have been meaning to talk to you about that. I am officially a non-smoker!" I expected him to tell me it had been a year, or at least six months... NOPE! "I haven't smoked at work for TWO DAYS!" I gave him the look of death, rolled over, and replied, "Ex, I haven't eaten meat for two days, but I do not consider myself a vegetarian."

The second big red flag that I overlooked was the fact that Ex had a girlfriend when we met. I was aware of this, but he told me they were in the process of breaking up so, I believed him and we continued to hang out. As it turns out, they were NOT in the process of breaking up... AND his girlfriend was currently mad at him because she found out he was cheating on her with another girl. A girl who was NOT me. So, unknowingly, I was the OTHER other woman in his life.... Why did I continue to date him, again? Oh yeah.. stupid emotions. (smashes hand onto forehead...)

Honestly, I am not going to go on, because you already know too much. The point is, Ex never changed. People do not change. Although our relationship went sour, he was always the same person. When I first met him he SHOWED me he was a cheater, a liar, and a smoker, but I wanted to believe that things would be DIFFERENT with me. Had I accepted these facts for what they actually were, without emotions, we never would have dated. But, when we met, I saw him as I WANTED to see him and not for what he actually WAS. He never changed. He was always a cheater, a liar, and a smoker. I just failed to accept these as truths. Am I to blame? No. He is who he is and I am who I am. There is nothing wrong with either of us, we are just different and want different things. I want to be with a non-smoker who doesn't lie or cheat. I have no idea what it is that he wants..

I do not regret dating Ex or anyone from my past.  Ex provided me with joy and love when our relationship was good and knowledge and growth after we broke up. I am wiser for having dated him and our break up actually made me a better person in many ways. To find contentment, it is essential that you see things exactly as they are and not as you would like them to be. Once you can see and accept people for what they truly are, then you can decide whether or not they are someone you would like to keep in your life or someone you need to let go.

Traverse City, Michigan: Great Lakes, Great Times (a photo tour)

After posting a "cover photo" on the new facebook timeline that was forced upon me, I realized 2 things: #1. my hometown is ridiculously awesome and #2. many people in the world are completely oblivious to the beauty that I grew up around.

I grew up in Traverse City, Michigan, and although I cannot stand being there in the wintertime, since I am not a lover of the cold, there is NOWHERE else I would rather be in the summer. That being said, I would like to take this post to brag about my hometown and encourage others to vacation there, because it is totally worth it. Here is my attempt at a travel guide...



Where is Traverse City?

Traverse City, or "TC" as we call it, is located at the pinky of the mitten. Surrounded by numerous lakes, your summer question is never "do we want to go to the lake?", but "WHICH lake do we want to go to/ jet ski/ boat on/ fish on/ etc?"

Which Lakes are the Best?

This answer greatly depends on what you are looking to do... Below is a map of some of the major lakes surrounding TC. I have taken the liberty of highlighting some of my favorites in purple to make it easier for you to locate them. When visiting TC, it is best to go with a "townie" (I will explain nicknames later..), otherwise known as a "local". The locals know exactly which lakes are best for which activities and they probably have all of the equipment you need to do said activities, so you can avoid the hassle of renting. 

There are many smaller lakes, not on this map, that are only obtainable via short hike. I will keep these a secret for now, since us locals sometimes need to get away from the "fudgies" (also, to be explained later..).

Objects on the map above are much closer to one another than they appear.. 

Boating: Boats are like cars to TC people. If you are lucky enough to live on a lake, then there is almost a 100% chance that you own a boat, however, most people who live inland also own boats. That being said, I like to use different lakes for different kinds of boating (yes, there are different kinds..). 

Best Lakes for... 

Speeding Around and/or Tubing - Lake Michigan (East or West Bay.. DO NOT call West Bay the "West Arm of Grand Traverse Bay".. this is a dead giveaway that you're a fudgie) or Elk Lake. 

Some of my friends and I cruising around on the East Bay last summer 

My dad and I are not allowed to shop together anymore after purchasing that massive tube.. this is a picture of "tube wars" where the object of the game is to knock everyone else off their tube and be the last person standing.. err riding..

My sister rockin' out some water skis.. I think this pic was taken on Mullet Lake in Cheboygan, MI.. about 2 hours north of TC.. 

Parking the Boat to Drink - West Bay near the West End Beach (a highly crowded public beach downtown where most of the fudgies and local high schoolers go during the summer) or the Torch Lake Sandbar. 

Boats full of friendly drinkers LOVE the Torch Lake sandbar.. 

Torch Lake Sandbar: warm enough to swim.. shallow enough to drink and not risk drowning.. oh, and there are usually vendors on floatable carts or boats selling hot dogs and lemonade to boaters.. it's awesome. 

This is my current "cover photo" on facebook.. and the inspiration behind this post..

Dock Dining - On Clam River there is a restaurant called "The Dockside", where you can park your boat and dine and/or drink, all while never getting out of your swimsuit. 

Connecting rivers are "no wake" zones.. so you need to go slow.. 

Eating at The Dockside before heading back out on the water.. 

Fishing - Fishing is better early in the morning or later in the evening if you are actually trying to catch yourself some dinner. There are lots of "fishing tricks" and different seasons for catching different fish.. My grandpa has an vast amount of fishing knowledge stored away in his brain and is always my "go to" person when it comes to fishing. For those who have never gone fishing, it is boring and can be used as either a time of self-reflection or a time to drink and have in-depth conversations with your "fishing buddies". I love fishing. 

These pictures are actually from Black Lake in Cheboygan, MI. My Dad is playing around with the Pike I caught..
Side note: No fish were harmed in the making of this photo.. we practice catch and release..

Sometimes you think you have a bite.. but only catch a grass bass...  

Self-reflection... 

Cabrewing - Cabrewing is the act of floating down a river in a raft or canoe while drinking beer or other alcoholic beverages at the same time. The Platte River is typically where most cabrewing takes place since the current is strong enough that you don't have to paddle and can easily enjoy your brew.

Shockingly, I do not have any cabrewing pictures... that needs to change. 

Sailing, Kayaking, Jet Skiing and Kiteboarding - For those who are more adventurous, TC offers plenty water sports to keep you occupied. Lake Michigan is typically a decent spot to partake in these activities, although, given the right conditions, any lake will do. 

Kayaking on East Bay.. There is a small cove on the East Bay where you can search for Petoskey stones and kayak among the carp, swans, snapping turtles, and various other forms of wildlife.. This picture was take right outside my parents house. I am so lucky.

Kiteboarding.. I have never done this... but want to soooo badly.

My sister and her friends sailing.. 

There are many, MANY more water activities that I could add, but us TC people do more than just swim and participate in water sports. Traverse City is also known for the peninsula wine trail, breweries, Sleeping Bear Dunes and The National Cherry Festival. 

WINE - Whether you take a party bus or have a designated driver, if you are into wine, the Old Mission Peninsula Wine Trail is for you! There are 7 wineries located on the peninsula within close proximity to one another. Here is a website if you would like to know more: http://www.wineriesofoldmission.com

Each purple dot represents a tasty winery..

My personal favorite winery: Chateau Chantal.. 

BEER - There are a ton of breweries in the downtown TC area. I used to work at one called North Peak Brewing Company, but there is pretty much a brewery anywhere you turn downtown. Tasty! 

The Red 8 Ale is my brother's favorite beer.. It comes from this brewery..

Sleeping Bear Dunes - Nestled in beautiful Glen Arbor, the Sleeping Bear Dunes are a must-see for visiting fudgies. Bring comfortable shoes and lots of water to prepare yourself for your visit. And remember, if you decided to go down the dunes.. you have to walk all the way back up... which is 10 times harder and takes about 3 times longer....

I brought my friend to the dunes last year.. he had no idea what kind of hiking torture he was in for.. love dune virgins..

Photos just don't do justice to how steep and long of a climb this is.. that little white speck in the left lower corner.. that's a large boat.. 

The National Cherry Festival - Fudgies from all over come to enjoy this week-long cherry celebration. TC is the cherry capital of the world and this summertime festival is a cherry-lovers dream. Cherry jam, cherry beer, cherry hand soap, cherry pillows, absolutely anything and everything cherry, you can find here. Although known for cherries, this festival is much more than that. There is a carnival, beer tent, concert stage and much more. 

TC locals dread this time of the summer and most of them go on vacation when the festival is in town. We love everything this festival brings to the TC economy, but during this time, the amount of people in TC tends to quadruple in size and most TC locals are not fans of rowdy crowds. 

Yes.. I did try my hand at being "Cherry Queen" one year.. don't judge me.. 

The Open Space of downtown TC turns into madness during the cherry fest.. fun madness though.. 

Nicknames and P Stones -  I promised you I would explain myself.. so here goes.


Fudgie - a tourist. Northern Michigan is known for its fudge.. and tourists love fudge.


Townie - a local TC resident (those brave enough to live here during the bitter winters..)


Petoskey Stone - a fossil rock found only around Lake Michigan and Lake Heron. They are often found on beaches and are easier to find after it rains.

When polished, the P stones look like this. 

               

Even the Michigan government provides fudgies with a Michigan glossary.. Learn to speak like a local at:
http://www.michigan.gov/mde/0,4615,7-140-54504_50206_54518-184577--,00.html

Honestly, I could go on and on about how awesome TC is in the summer, but I feel as though this blog is already long enough. In the words of Reading Rainbow, "don't take my word for it", go visit TC for yourself!! I promise you will not be disappointed. 

New Direction: CRNA

I am excited! Why? Because I think I have finally figured out what I want to do with my life. After months of agony and discontentment surrounding my current professional life, I am finally feeling a bit of clarity. I am going to go back to school to become a Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA).

I have always known that I wanted to do more than bedside nursing, but didn't know what. I thought about medical school, but felt like that would be a step backwards and possibly more work than it is worth at this point in my life. I also thought about becoming a Nurse Practitioner (NP), but when I went to apply for the Acute Care NP program, found out the program had been dropped at my old nursing school. Nothing seemed to be working out for me and after much struggle and internal "what the hell do I want to do with my life" debate, I retired my stress and decided to try travel nursing in the fall.

As much as I thought I would enjoy travel nursing, I just couldn't commit to it. (As I'm sure you may have noticed from a few of my previous posts...) While at a bike and beer get together a few weekends ago, I discussed my thoughts of travel nursing with a stranger. He mentioned how travel nursing sounded like a lateral move and, although drunk, these words stuck with me and made me think. I know that I do not want to do bedside nursing forever, so aside from experience and money, where would travel nursing really get me? The "go back to school" seed was once again planted, but, at this point, I still had no idea what I wanted to do.

The following week I had to run a CVVH filter for a patient in the OR, as we often do for certain cases. At the head of the table, I watched the tasks the anesthesiologists performed and talked with them about their job. I noticed many similarities between their work and certain tasks performed by ICU nurses. This intrigued me. I had never really given much thought to becoming a CRNA, however, while standing in the OR, a lightbulb came on. Hmm.. I like what they have going on here... I think I would really enjoy this.. (Side Note: CRNAs are NOT equivalent to anesthesiologists, but I will spare you those details..) After my shift ended, I went home, did a little research, and was sold. I am going back to school and I am going to become a CRNA. Period.

You have no idea how relieved I am to finally have a clear idea of my next life adventure. There are a few little pre-recs I need to nail out this summer before I apply, but hopefully I will find myself in a program in either 2013 or 2014. At least, I now have a goal and a direction to aim for, which is a very good thing.

Job Perk: no bad hair days.. as long as your eyes are stunning, you're looking fabulous.. 

15 Random Facts

I lieu of an actual post.. I give you this.. 




The veins on my right foot form a star

I have played flute since 4th grade

My first kiss was in a gazebo on a golf course in Arizona to a stranger whose name I don't remember.. (classy.)

Feeling felt fabric makes me nauseous

I have donated part of my boob to breast cancer research

I made it to the finals in a fishing pole casting contest when I was about 6 years old

I have written in a journal almost every day since December 25, 1997 (and most of it I can't even bring myself to re-read...)

I still remember lying on the OR table when I had to get my adenoids removed and hearing the doctor ask me to count to 5.. I was 3 years old.

I am a perfectionist and am still working on trying to accept my work as "good enough".. (this blog being one of those things...)

I hate peas.

My greatest fears are losing a loved one and/or never finding my "person" (whatever that even means..)

Seriously, I want to meet everyone in the world.. People are ridiculously fascinating.

I cannot parallel park.. and I failed my first drivers test because of this.

One of my favorite compliments came from a co-worker who said, "I like you, Dani. Everyone knows where they stand with you."

Although I truly believe the events of our past help shape who we are today, you could not pay me enough to relive certain times in my life.

Magic Eight Ball...

I am still in complete shock that it's April already.. Especially since I told myself I would take the CCRN certification exam in June and have only cracked open my books once or twice.. March went by way too quickly, and although I am excited for summer, I am not excited about having to decide what to do once my lease is up. I have been ridiculously anxious trying to figure out whether I should stay another year in Indy or whether I should try my hand at travel nursing. Although, Wise-Dani realizes everything will work itself out as it should, I-Need-To-Have-A-plan-NOW!-Dani is a hot mess of anxiety and panic.

Just like I used to do in high school, when trying to decide if I should break up with a boy, I think I need to create a "pros and cons" table for my nursing future...

PROS TO TRAVEL NURSING:
-$$$
-traveling on someone else's dime
-warmer, tropical climates
-new adventures
-i'm young, single, and bored in Indy.. so now's a good time
-everyone is married in Indy.. so there's potential for better man selection elsewhere..
-did I mention, $$$?
-more experiences/different ICUs = better RN
-there is talk of our head transplant dude leaving.. so the program could possibly change for the worse.. so maybe i don't want to stick around?
-i can always come back to Indy after a 3 month assignment, if i hate it..
-most people i have talked to loved being a travel nurse..

CONS TO TRAVEL NURSING:
-i will most likely be working in dysfunctional ICUs, since they are who hire travelers
-no friends
-i've worked really hard to get to where i am in my profession.. and am enjoying my new(ish) gig as charge nurse..
-i am respected on my unit (at least, as far as i know..)
-i still feel as though i still have a lot to learn on my unit..
-i know what i am doing (most of the time) on my unit..
-no overtime..
-saturday nights alone.. with no one to call to hang out.. which is going to suck since i am an extremely social being....
-i will miss my yoga, climbing, and pole dance studios..
-the reality that i am going to get lost.. a lot.
-i have a great group of friends here, who i absolutely adore
-starting over as "the new nurse" sucks since everyone assumes you're retarded..
-do i really want to "start over" again somewhere new every 3 months?...
-what if i love it and this is the last summer i ever spend in Indy??

I have no idea what I am doing/ want to do/ need to do, etc.. and I feel as though I am going crazy because of this.. Wise-Dani tries to tell me to "calm the fuck down and be patient", but Slightly-Manic-Dani needs answers now.  Starting over is really terrifying, and although I have done it many times before, I am not sure if I have enough courage to do it again... Blahhhhhh.... Magic 8 ball, what in the world should I do?  There is nothing, NOTHING, that I hate more than uncertainty..

The Creep Factor

While perusing the cafeteria this morning, prior to my shift, I came in contact with one of the creepiest people in the entire hospital. We call him "PTG" or "Fresh Garden Cucumber" and he had/still has an epic crush on one of my besties, who used to work with me. What makes him so creepy? Honestly, I have no idea. He just is. He has this almost palpable "ick" factor to him and I always try to avoid him, and his ridiculously well-pronounced package, at all costs. Regardless, his presence today made me ponder the idea of the "creep factor." 

After having my advances rejected over the weekend (whomp, whomp..), I couldn't help but wonder if I may put out a slight (or greater than slight?) creep vibe. I try hard not to over-talk, over-text, or hit on racy topics when meeting new people (I fail at this, almost always..), however, I am notorious for finding myself in the presence of some of the most awkward people and situations known to man. Which makes me wonder.. is it me? Am I the creeper to blame? While reviewing a mental play-by-play of the events that conspired over this past weekend, I have come to the conclusion that, yes, holy shit, I am a HUGE creeper. 

In the spirit of the NCAA tournament, I would like to review my foul plays, which, more than likely, led to the loss of the game. (Ok, there never was a game, but roll with me here..)

Foul #1: Initiation of the Pursuit 

Against my better (and much less creepy) judgement, I broke my first cardinal rule of dating, thou shalt not pursue, and, after a few glasses of wine, creepily added my future victim as a facebook friend. I explain to myself that this is totally a good idea because we have mutual friends, so it's less weird. (It's not less weird. And no one should ever make facebook decisions under the influence of moscato.) 

Foul #2: Insertion of Phone Number 

I decide that said victim needs to have my number, you know, just in case he forgot to ask for it.. so I delicately insert it into a well thought out facebook message. (Oh, yes. At 25 years of age I am so sly and super mature.. I can totally see this working out for me... Do you like me? Check yes or no...)

Foul #3: Being a Sports Fan

I have come to the conclusion that being a fan of sports or being an outdoorsy person makes you appear less feminine, and therefore, less desirable as a mate. (Note to self: twirl hair in finger more and watch basketball less...)

Foul #4: Confession of Crush

Hello, My name is Dani and I am super awful at playing hard to get. I am a straight-shooter and have no shame in telling you all about how I thought you were cute at work and how my co-worker cock-blocked me... yadda, yadda. Super awesome. Don't trust me with your secrets, because clearly, I suck at keeping my own.

Ah yes, if I wasn't creepy before.... now there is probably a restraining order in the works..

History tells me that nothing good will ever come from trying to force or control something that probably never would have happened without your assistance. Aside from the dent in my pride from throwing myself out there, I like to think that I did not fair too badly this time. I mean, the last time I broke my "thou shalt not pursue" rule and pursued someone who was never into me, I woke up next to a husky bearded carpenter who, upon meeting my family, honest-to-god, thought that my brother was retarded. (Which was actually pretty damn funny...)

Fairly certain this is what I look like when I attempt to "flirt"... I would be terrified, too, blonde boy..  

QLC Adventures: Chicago Audition for "The Voice"

About a month ago, one of my awesome friends invited me over for dinner and some TV time, since I don't have cable. We watched an episode of The Voice, which is similar to American Idol, and it stirred up a few of my "I used to be a music major in college" feelings. Later that night, I went home and, after a few glasses of wine, decided that I would sign up for the Chicago audition on March 3rd. I mean, what the hell? I said this was going to be my year of traveling, right? Anyways, yesterday was the big day, so I figured I would fill you in on how the audition process went... It gave me a whole new meaning to the term "cattle call".

First off, I totally forgot that Chicago was in a different time zone, so I was actually at McCormick Place about an hour earlier than I had originally anticipated. I think I walked in the building around 10:30am, Chicago time, and there were numerous people there before me who were also slotted to audition during the 2pm session. When you signed up, they had you pick an audition time (7am, 12am, 2pm, 5pm, 7pm.. something like that.) but they never really told you when to show up. So, even though I was 3.5 hours early, I guess I was on time? Having absolutely no idea what I am doing or where to go, I followed the masses into a large, unmoving line. There were a few news crews interviewing people (I declined.) and everyone was super chatty from nerves. After about an hour of standing in this line, I realized 2 very important things: 1) I REALLY should have used the bathroom before entering this long-ass line.. and 2) ah yes, I now remember EXACTLY why I hated being a voice major.

The whole building was swarming with narcissistic divas who felt the need to belt out a boisterous ballad at any time. It was almost as if their song were a warning call out in the wild saying "listen to me, bitches, you don't stand a chance!" I cannot stand obnoxious people (aka- a vast majority of voice and/or theater majors..). Regardless, of my strong distain for loud-mouthed people, if there is one thing that I can take away from this experience, it is that people-watching at a reality TV audition is the BEST people watching in the world. Hands down.

At the end of this line, they checked your IDs and your printed-off audition pass to make sure everything was legit. Unfortunately, there were a few people who did not read the instructions and, after over an hour of line-waiting, were told they could not audition and had to leave. The rest of us were ushered towards security, to make sure we weren't carrying guns, and were then placed into another line. In this line there were water stations, where you could quench your thirst, and since family had to leave your side after the security station, it was full of nothing but auditionees. The people who audition for these things are definitely interesting beings.

There were 2 dudes next to me who were in my group throughout the whole audition process. The first dude was from Iowa, made boat-trailers for a living, and was auditioning with a James Blunt song because his girlfriend signed him up after hearing him sing in the shower. He was probably in his early 40s and was wearing a plaid shirt and some levis. He was also almost too friendly and kept touching my leg to get my attention. (awkward.)
The other guy was probably in his 30s and looked like he was straight off the screen of Brokeback Mountain in his black leather jacket, black leather hat, black leather cowboy boots, and tight jeans. He was from "all over", had a 4-year-old son and a girlfriend, and was currently receiving workman's comp. after injuring his hand on a construction job. He had won 7 out of 9 karaoke competitions that he had entered and he was convinced that this audition for The Voice was going to be "his big break".
In front of us, was an annoying 20-something-year-old who had a platinum blonde circle dyed into his short brown hair. He was a scrawny guy and his nasty attempt at a mustache made me want to vomit. (I love mustaches.. but his was gross and made me ashamed of my fetish.) This guy was one of the "divas" who would randomly belt out a song for no apparent reason. He was also very surprised by the size of Lake Michigan, as he had never seen it before. (oh, the things I take for granted..)

At the end of the "water line", which lasted about an hour and a half, we were herded into a large room where we were split off into 10 different lines. It was at this time that I FINALLY got to use the restroom (yesss!). Originally, I was in line 3, but then got switched over to line 7, along with the characters described above. (These lines were very reminiscent of the "cattle" lines that Raleigh and I experienced at the Maxim party during Superbowl weekend..) At the end of the lines there were desks of people who would place an armband on your wrist. I was at the beginning of the line so I only waited about 15 minutes before I got my red armband. After your armband was in place, you were led to a large room filled with rows of chairs and you finally got to sit down.

 There were around 500 anxious singers in this confined space and this is where the "divas" had their time to "shine." One singer would loudly belt out a tune and other cocky singers would feel the need to "out-sing" the original singers to try and prove to everyone that they were better. It was very similar to turkey mating season, where a male turkey will puff himself up and try and outshine the other male turkey when battling for a female's attention. These "singer duals" made me laugh on many occasions. Silly singers..

After 2 hours of socializing, laughing at nervous people (who actually thought they were going to "make it big"), and listening to numerous "diva duals", we were escorted in groups to smaller holding areas. We only sat here for a few minutes before being led, in groups of 10, to the door of the room in which we would audition. It was at this point that I started to get a little nervous. Once the prior group exited the room, the 10 of us, including "too-friendly boat-trailer guy" and "workman's comp. cowboy", entered a room with 10 chairs that faced one judge. The judge was probably in her late-twenties, was very friendly, and sat behind a desk and macbook. One by one, we each sang a portion of our prepared song. I was third from last to sing. After much internal debate as to which song I was going to sing, I decided last minute to whip out a show-tune song from RENT called "take me or leave me". I did well and after the last singer sang the judge informed us that no one from our group would be moving on. WHOMP WHOMP. I guess, I will just have to find another way to try and seduce Adam Levine! And just like that the audition was over.

Was I disappointed? Honestly, no. There were THOUSANDS of people that auditioned at this location and there will be thousands more at the other cities, so I already knew that my odds were slim to none. Plus, your whole fate is based on the opinion on ONE judge and who knows what kind of singers they are looking for. When I was an opera major, I got into every school where I auditioned, except for one, and if I really wanted to continue on with it, I probably could have done alright. But, music has always been a hobby for me and not an option for a profession. This experience made me realize that I am SOOOO happy that I chose to get out of the music business and go into nursing. I love my profession as a nurse and I have never regretted my decision to quit music and go into nursing. If anything, this experience solidified my choice and made me realize that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be. My shot at The Voice was a random, fun decision, resulting from my QLC, and I am glad I got out of my comfort zone and went on this adventure.