2012: The Year of Travels. (perhaps?)

Upon each new year I like to make a goal. Not so much a "resolution", per se, but a piece of myself that I would like to improve upon. A little over a year ago, after a major break up, I reevaluated what was important in my life and decided that 2011 would be my year of friendship and hobbies. 2011 was an incredible year. It was in this year that I discovered my love for my three favorite hobbies: hot vinyasa yoga, rock climbing, and pole dancing. It was also in this year that I spent almost every free moment of my life cherishing the friends that were neglected during the "relationship years." I even went above and beyond my comfort zone and met a whole new group of cohorts by entering the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation as a bachelorette. Not only did that experience expose me to new pools of people, but it also humbled me on many occasions. I raised over $3,000 for cystic fibrosis research from the support of my friends alone. Those are some ridiculously generous and insanely awesome friends!!! (Thanks again to everyone who supported me. Your generosity means more to me than you will ever know..) Long story short, I more than accomplished my goals for 2011 and I truly hope that 2012 will be no different.

I have always wanted to travel, but I have also always been too practical to involve myself in such irrational voyages. While in college my mom would often suggest that I study abroad, but every time she would bring up the idea I would immediately turn the offer down. It wasn't that I didn't want to see new places,  I was just in a huge hurry to finish college and "start my life already".Why would I want to push back graduation another semester when I could take 18 credits each semester and graduate from nursing school early? Looking back, I really wish I would have taken the time to spend a semester in a different country, but such is life. 

Since I missed the "study abroad" boat, I think 2012 may be as good of a year as any to make up for lost adventures. Every trip I take to Florida always makes me say to myself, "dang, the hot sun feels amazing.. why do I still live in Indy again?" Don't get me wrong, I love this city, I like my job, and I am crazy about my friends, but I also think it may be time for me to get a taste of different places. An appetizer sampler of the United States, if you will. This is where the travel goal of 2012 comes into play.. I think this year may be the year that I try my hand at travel nursing. 

I still need to do more research and work out the details, but so far travel nursing looks very appealing. You choose where you would like to go, say Florida for example, and once you land a job, the nursing agency will pay for your rent, pay for your moving expenses, AND you get paid almost twice as much as a "normal nurse" for the same work. PROS: Money! And a chance to travel the U.S. on someone else's dime. CONS: You're probably going to be working in the places where no one else wants to work.. So that's why they hire travel nurses.. Also, your co-workers are probably going to hate you because you make more than they do... And you are going to know no one and have no friends. 

Now, being an independent woman, the cons do not scare me too much. I moved to Indiana 7 years ago with absolutely no friends or family in the whole entire state. If I can survive that, I can survive a 3 month travel assignment to a hateful ICU in a tropical climate. Bring it on hateful nurses and crappy hospitals... Bring. It. On. As long as I am warm and making bank I could care less about anything else that goes on around me. (I may come to regret this last statement later on..) 

Anyways, absolutely nothing is set in stone as far as travel nursing goes and I have not agreed to anything, yet. (READ: I AM NOT QUITTING MY CURRENT JOB.) However, travel nurse or not, I am determined to make 2012 the most travelicious year ever. (Wow, that sounded really dumb.. whatever, I'm keeping it in there..)

Side note: this RN is in BLUE AND WHITE SCRUBS...  Just sayin'.... (see "Anonymous Health" post for the significance of this..)

Travel Success!! (A Brief History of the "Vacation Curse")

Much to my surprise my vacation to Sanibel Island came and went without any major mishaps. Although paranoid the whole flight and car ride home, I made it to and from my destination safely. Why is this shocking? Those who know me best know EXACTLY what I am talking about. No one is more unlucky in their travels than I am.

Last year, on my way to Florida, my plane could not land due to a tropical storm. After three failed and very turbulent landing attempts, the plane was forced to land at a small, distant airport to wait out the storm. Good news: they let us out of the plane. Bad news: there were no speakers in the airport with which to warn you that your plane is/was boarding. Long story short, I left all my belongings in the plane seat and decided, "Hey, I've never drank in an airport before.. I think I will go enjoy a beer while I wait." This was not a wise decision. While caught up in conversation with two old men (who ended up buying my drink) my plane left without me.. with my luggage and carry-on on board. In a panic, as my extreme phobia is being lost and/or stranded, I did what any person would do had they just come face-to-face with the worst day of their life: I hyperventilated in a massive panic attack. Looking back, this seems like a hilarious over-exaggeration of emotion, but at that moment I saw no hope for survival. I was doomed and stranded with no means of rescue. Hence, the extreme panic. Clearly, a woman who is in hysterics with a respiratory rate of 60 breaths a minute does not go unnoticed. So, along came the EMTs... Yup. Yours truly had to be assessed by EMTs. I tried to fight them off, but they took my vitals and tried to get me to lie on their stretcher. It was about at this moment that I began to feel really dumb. REALLY DUMB. I hate panic attacks. Anyway, I signed the paperwork declining a trip to the ER and tried to figure out how to get to my destination and luggage, which were now three hours away from me... 

(Icing on the Cake: a tipsy, younger girl who was traveling with her fiance had added me as a facebook friend while sitting next to me at the bar. She wrote on my facebook wall, "I didn't see you on the plane. Enjoy your vacation!" Yeah..... about it...)

This summer, while going home to Michigan for the 4th of July, I had just left my apartment when I was the victim of a four car pile-up. A semi two cars in front of me slammed on their brakes, the car in front of me did the same, I followed suit and bumped the car in front of me (they had no damage), and the suburban behind me was slow to react and smashed right into my rear. This was a sad day. This, the 30th of June, 2011, was the day my faithful Santa Fe was totaled before we could reach our goal of 200 thousand miles. I was stranded on the side of Meridian, luggage by my side, as they towed her bent car carcass away.. never to be driven again..  RIP dear Fe.. Now, the downside to living so far from your family is that when things like this happen, you need to rely on friends. I HATE asking friends for help, but sometimes you have no choice. Luckily for me, my awesome friend Don was available and agreed to pick me up. While working out the details with Don, the two police officers at the site of the crash began to harass me. "Ohhh.. are you talking to your boyfriend?" "Is that your special man friend that is coming to pick you up?" Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! Officers of the law, I was just in a car wreck on my way to my vacation destination. Are you seriously taunting me like 6th grade boys? Determined not to let this mishap ruin my trip, I rented a car to take me the rest of the way home. "Since you bought full coverage, you can return this car in a cardboard box if you want to," the rental car man informs me, "but please don't do that." At this point, I have already totaled my car, so I feel as though I am invincible since my "vacation curse" has already exposed itself. Already having my "curse" out of the way, I breathe a sigh of relief while I drive the rented Impala to my destination. This was a premature sigh. While pulling into my parents driveway, which is thickly lined by trees, I heard a loud "thud". Much to my horror and dismay, a tree branch had completely annihilated the right side-mirror of my rental car. The mirror was ripped completely off. Fabulous. Does this sort of thing happen to anyone else?!

Vegas: food poisoning. 

Flight from Michigan: luggage lost and not returned until 3am when I had to meet the idiot luggage delivery man at Meijer because he could not find my place. 

And unfortunately, the list goes on... 

Needless to say, I am EXTREMELY grateful and proud that I made it all the way to Sanibel Island and back in one piece with my luggage and vehicle intact. Yay! 

We found a bunch of leopard crabs on the beach.. I <3 Sanibel Island.

Poor Fe... Victim of the "vacation curse".  RIP 2002-2011. 

"Anonymous" Health: Branding Nurses for Pure Profit

In accordance with all of the "branding" my hospital has set in place over the past year, they have also decided to force a new uniform upon us. Up until this point, I have been open to the changes they have made. Changing the name entirely, including my email address, letterhead, etc.. and making us sit through hours of online learning modules in preparation for the name change? Ok, fine. Not getting a raise so Anonymous Health (name changed so I don't get fired..) can explode their advertisements all over the sides of large buildings? Annoying, but whatever. Making "leadership rounding" a priority and having all charge nurses sit through hours of lecture? Boring, but I can see how this may be helpful. But CHANGING OUR UNIFORM?! Now you have gone too far and have caused me to officially lose my patience.

I see absolutely no problem with our current uniforms. They are color-coded, with each department (RNs, RTs, techs, transporters, etc) having their own designated color, and they in no way prohibit Anonymous Health from succeeding as a business. I have yet, in my three years of working here, to ever hear a patient, family member, or coworker complain about the color of our scrubs. In fact, I find comfort in the fact that I know exactly which department someone works for by glancing at their scrubs. Now, Anonymous Health wants to disrupt this harmony and force a godawful, stop-sign red uniform onto its nurses. Why? They state this "image enhancement" will "further deliver on Anonymous Health's promise of assurance to patient's and families." What the what?! How does having red scrubs with little Anonymous Health emblems on every piece of my clothing assure anyone of anything? All it says to me is here's another advertising opportunity for Anonymous and another way for them to make money. By instating this new uniform, Anonymous Health is literally stealing money out of the pockets of its nurses.

Since nurses will only be allowed to wear obnoxious red scrubs that project the Anonymous logo on both top and bottom, they will ONLY be able to buy their scrubs from Anonymous Health. This " uniform trap" then ensures that the hard-earned money of each and every Anonymous Health nurse will go directly back into the bank account of Anonymous Health. Kind of shady, don't you think? Not to mention the fact that even though Anonymous Health states, "these changes are driven by nurse and patient feedback gathered during formal research over the last 18 months," I never recall being asked my opinion on the matter. Plus, who are these nurses that stated they wanted to wear bright red with an Anonymous Health logo on every part of their body? I am hard pressed to find even ONE nurse who is "ok" with this change. And who are the patients that said, "you know what, I think I would have received better care if the nurses were in red scrubs." Absolutely ridiculous. Let's face it, this is all just a money-making ploy that benefits NO ONE but the "higher ups" who will never have to wear this ridiculous new garb.

 Back to the financial aspect, scrubs are expensive. It has cost me well over $150 for my current collection of lovely royal blue and white scrubs. Is Anonymous Health going to pay ME $150 to buy all new scrubs? HAHAHAHAH. F no. They are only offering nurses 15% off of their purchases. IT'S ALL FOR PROFIT PEOPLE. They don't care about the opinions and job satisfaction of their nurses and other hardworking staff. They just want to make as much money as possible, even if it pisses off and bankrupts their dedicated employees. What a twisted way of running a business...

Aside from my strong hatred for this change, let's look at the logistics of it all. The "cutest" pair of scrubs offered don't even have pockets. NO POCKETS?! How in the world can you be a productive nurse without pockets. Clearly, the people who chose these uniform options do NOT have to work at the bedside and have probably never been a floor nurse. Also, let's look at the psychology behind the color red. According to precisionintermedia.com, "people surrounded by red find their heart beating faster and often report feeling a bit out of breath." Fabulous. Thank you Anonymous Health for encouraging respiratory distress and SVT.  Also, "red can be perceived as demanding and aggressive", according to colour-affects.co.uk.  Wonderful. I am really looking forward to looking like an aggressive bitch while my patient struggles to breathe. Can't wait! On a smaller note, apparently wearing red also makes you appear fatter. I fail to see any benefit from this new uniform.

What is so wrong with our blue scrubs anyway? Precisionintermedia.com notes that "seeing the color blue actually causes the body to produce chemicals that are calming." They also state that "blue has become associated with steadfastness, dependability, wisdom and loyalty (note how many uniforms are blue)." Maybe it's just me, but I would MUCH rather be a dependable, wise, blue-scrubbed nurse with calm patients than a demanding red-scrubbed nurse battling to keep her patients from being chronically tachycardic.

There is an old saying that goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it." There was nothing wrong with having all of your nurses happy in their already-paid-off blue scrubs. Your whole "branding" scheme is nothing more than a crappy ploy for profit and I am not amused.

No pockets. Which genius decided this was a good idea?

Note: Unibrow right pocket. Very fashionable right now...  also makes me feel as though I work for Applebee's.. 

Current Uniform: calming, functional, and it doesn't burn your eyes if you stare too long.. 

Quarter-Life Crisis

Wow, 2012... Here you are. The year of my 25th birthday.. Last year, when a friend of mine turned 25, she freaked out and went through what she called a "quarter-life crisis". She panicked, found a new job, and turned into a super-Christian. During all of this, I laughed, thought she was losing it, and silently thought to myself "crazy girl.. that will NEVER happen to me." But here I am, 25th birthday quickly approaching, and my anxiety is beginning to climb. The quarter-life crisis (QLC, for short) is real.

Now, one may be thinking, "what in the world is a QLC, anyway?" A QLC is the time around one's quarter of a century birthday when you begin to realize that everything you thought you would have or be at the age of 25 has never happened. You are nowhere even close to where 5-year old you, 10-year-old you, or even 15- or 20-year-old you thought you would be. By all accounts, you are feeling as though you have failed. And it is upon this realization that the anxiety starts. "Holy shit. I am 25. I am still single. I do not own a home. I live paycheck to paycheck. I am not driving a BMW, nor can I even afford to buy a new car. All of my friends are engaged, married, or parents and I am just here. Just sitting here in the middle of Indy. Waiting. Working my ass off to barely be able to support myself and just waiting around for someone to marry me. Frick. This is NOT what I thought I would be doing at 25...."

"But, Dani, you are being ridiculous. You are doing well for yourself. Why are you freaking out? And why do you care if you're single or not?" Sigh. First off, those who say this are probably married or at least in a steady relationship. Dating nowadays is rough, especially in the midwest when everyone is married off by the age of 12. Secondly, why am I panicking? It's a symptom of my QLC. I have a legit medical condition brought on by years of aspiring to be somewhere that I am still not. Look it up, it's legit.

In kindergarten they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most of my peers said normal things: a firefighter, a doctor, my dad, a superhero, etc. Not me. No. Right next to my name, as artifact in my baby book, it says, "Dani Archambo: I want to be a mommy with 16 babies." Sixteen. Theoretically, if there were ever any chance of this dream becoming a reality, I am WAY behind schedule. Why is this important? This is important because I truly believe some things never change. I have always wanted to take care of people (I knew this even at a young age) and the ultimate form of taking care of someone comes with being a parent. Now, let me clear the air, and save my dating life (or lack thereof?), by saying I DO NOT WANT TO BE A MOM RIGHT NOW. No way, no how. I am not ready for that. I can't even keep a cactus alive, which means I am less nurturing than a desert. Not really a quality one would desire in a future caretaker. What I mean by this is that I always thought I would at least be starting to "settle down" by now. It is this misconception that leads to my QLC.

In the midwest is it expected that you settle down in your mid-twenties and start to create a wholesome family. The reality of this is that higher education pushes back this "expectation" making it almost impossible to get the degree and job you want while trying to start a family. To make matters worse, we also have the internet. As though one were not fully aware of their place in life, sites like facebook and twitter are constantly there to remind us that others are actually succeeding in the things we wish we were. I cannot even begin to explain how many engagement photos, baby pump pics, and wedding videos pop up on my facebook newsfeed almost hourly. So much so that the side ads on my facebook are all about diapers, moms groups, and christianmingle.com. Thank you facebook for continually reminding me that, in comparison to my peers, I am "behind schedule". Don't get me wrong, I am extremely excited for all of my friends and their new life adventures, but I am also beginning to feel like I am being picked last for dodgeball in gym class.

As represented in the graph below, the QLC comes into play when our expectations do not match our current reality. When this happens, one may show symptoms of anxiety, depression, and anger towards anyone with a spouse and/or fetus in their uterus. Although common with QLC, these are extremely unattractive qualities to hold onto for any long period of time. They also inhibit growth and happiness. Is there a cure for QLC? Yes. Simply take a step back, take a deep breath and realize that you're pretty freakin' awesome right now in the present. Plus, who would want 16 babies anyway...

The green patch represents the QLC, which is the difference between where you are and where you thought you would be. Yes, I did create my own graph for this.. 

First Post (how exciting..)

Thank you for taking the time to pull your eyes away from your pinterest and facebook account and view my brand spankin' new blog. I have no idea what this blog will become and what I will be posting, but you're here now.. so welcome.

I have been writing in journals (both paper and online), almost daily, since the age of 11, but have never made anything I write public until now. If my raw, unadulterated daily ramblings were able to be viewed by the general public, I am fairly certain I would have no friends and my sanity would be strongly questioned.  That being said,  this blog will probably become a more "PC" and watered down version of what I typically rant about on the daily. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it. And I make no promises as to how "good" this blog may be.. so there's my disclaimer. Enjoy!