It's not that I don't want to get married. I love Paul more than anything in the world and cannot wait to be his wife. I just hate planning parties, period. In college I had far too many failed birthday attempts that proved to me that event planning just isn't my thing. Nothing makes you feel more empty than reserving a restaurant table for ten and only having three people show up. It's traumatizing. I have come to realize that it's not the amount of people, but the quality of people who are by your side. However, this epiphany has not sparked or rekindled any joy towards orchestrating large important events.
So where are we on the wedding planning front? Well, back in December, we set our wedding ceremony and reception date. This includes food, open bar, and cocktail hour. We also put a down payment on a rehearsal dinner place, a band, and a photographer. I guess we are not looking too shabby, but I can safely say that I have not done any planning since then. Also, we still have not done our engagement pictures or given any thought to save-the-dates or wedding colors. Nor have I even started the whole wedding dress shopping extravaganza.
Meanwhile, my parents' neighbor's kid just got engaged a month or so ago and picked the same wedding date as we did. They already have their engagement pics done, wedding dress picked out, and save-the-dates ready to send. Are we really that far behind? Our families keep asking me when I am going to start looking for a wedding dress... Is it bad that I am not more excited? I understand that weddings are important, but part of me doesn't want to make such a big deal out of something like shopping for a dress. Does it really need to be such an important event? Or can I just go by myself on my day off? Ha. Don't get me wrong, I will do it the "right" way, but I definitely do not share in the joy that most women have towards finding "the dress". I already share my life with the most amazing man in the world. A dress is just a dress and won't make our marriage any more or less. Perhaps I will get more excited about it once I am actually trying things on... whenever that may be. We will see.
I was very thankful that I finally got to inform Paul's 4-year-old niece that we would like her to be a flower girl at the wedding. I really wanted to ask her and Paul's nephew to be in the wedding when all of his sister's were up earlier this summer, but we never really got around to it. I am truly thankful when life helps me out a little, because Lord knows I need all of the help I can get! This evening Paul's niece asked about the wedding at dinner. Her question offered up the perfect time to tell her that she gets to be in the wedding and wear a beautiful dress if she would like to. Her face lit up and she got really excited. "What kind of dress will I get to wear? A pink one? A purple one? A zebra-striped one?!" I told her I would send her some pictures and she will get to pick out her favorite dress to wear. "Do you know what my favorite part of wearing a dress is?" She asked. "It's when you get to hold your dress up when going up and down stairs!"
I cannot explain to you the relief I felt to finally solidify our flower girl. I know it's silly that I would stress out about that kind of thing, but I do! I am terrified to hurt people's feelings or make people feel obligated to do something that they may not want to do. Paul and I chose to only have two people stand beside us at the alter. I chose my sister and Hannah (one of my closest friends) and Paul chose his two childhood best friends. We decided to keep it small on purpose because we genuinely want all of our friends and family to have an awesome stress-free time.
Even though only a small fraction of the people we love are actively involved in the wedding, I hope our close friends and family understand that they mean the world to us. Honestly, Paul and I really just want everyone to take advantage of the open bar and have a blast.
Even though only a small fraction of the people we love are actively involved in the wedding, I hope our close friends and family understand that they mean the world to us. Honestly, Paul and I really just want everyone to take advantage of the open bar and have a blast.
July 11, 2015 is going to be here before I know it. I am excited to get to have a giant party surrounded by everyone that we love! I guess that means I should probably start actively planning our big day again.. As much as I keep hoping, this wedding probably isn't going to plan itself..
